Month: September 2019

Since I started writing about grieving, I have been finding very powerful and new to me information on how to master the art of grieving. As noted before, grieving is a very personal journey, none are like any other because the relationship between two people is unique. The deeply personal experiences can never be fully appreciated by anyone else, no matter how one might try. It is best to accept that and find peace, comfort and even joy in maintaining a connection with a loved one who has passed on. My previous writings on this subject provide a plethora of different ways to perceive one’s grieving. It is like looking through a prism and seeing a wealth of opportunity from what was invisible before we peered through such a looking glass. 

Here is yet another perspective that I will be adding to as new visions find their way into my life. I gave this a title, and without a known author, I will offer it as from Anonymous.

WISDOM FOUND

I had my own notion of grief.
I thought it was a sad time
that followed the death of
someone you love.
And you had to push through it
to get to the other side.
But I’m learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through.
But rather,
there is absorption.
Adjustment.
Acceptance.
And grief is not something you complete,
but rather, you endure.
Grief is not a task to finish
And move on,
But an element of yourself –

– Anonymous

As life experiences unfold before my eyes each day, and as dear friends pass on, my learning more and more the fine art of grieving continues to present new ways to experience this most inescapable and profound emotional and spiritual personal perspective. Since the passing on of someone who meant the world to us is uniquely individualistic, I find that the more ways to view such can enable more and more souls to find a measure of comfort in one or more perspectives I have inserted into my grieving posts. Hence, I have become sensitized and watchful for any new visions, thoughts or words that may be helpful to those who might read my posts.

Recently and unexpectedly, a dear friend showed me a poem by Henry Van Dyke that spoke to me and perchance it may also touch your grieving heart and provide a measure of comfort. For me the maritime theme/metaphor connected me to the calming that the eternal endlessness and constancy of the sea has always provided.

I call this poem “GONE?” as the author (or my source) had no title:

GONE?

I am standing upon the seashore. 
A ship at my side spreads her white sails
to the morning breeze and
starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky
come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: 
“There, she’s gone!”

“Gone where?”

Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear the load
of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says:
“There, she’s gone!”
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout:

“Here she comes!”

And that is dying . . . 

-Henry Van Dyke

And till at last we meet again . . .