February 2016 – The Turning Points of Life

The Snake Challenge

It was a typical San Diego day in early 1980, 73 degrees and sunny when our family experienced an unexpected turning point. I was at work and Randy was at school. Carol was at the local stores searching for the things on her shopping list for the day. Carol as a master shopper, always had a plan and a keen eye for bargains. When she was on a shopping mission, she wanted to be alone. This day, however, it was all going to change in an unexpected way.

Six year old Randy was at school and time for Carol to pick him up was fast approaching. The shopping was taking longer than expected. That meant she was going to have to accept the reality that Randy was going to be part of the final shopping activity at the local mall. Carol was not looking forward to that fact. The last thing she wanted was to take Randy shopping with her. Alas, there was no other choice.

The time arrived for Carol to get Randy at school so she placed her bags into the trunk of the car and headed for school. She arrived just in time as Randy came out the door. They hugged and got into the car. Carol told Randy that there was some more shopping to do so they were stopping at the mall on the way home. Randy didn’t make fuss, although Carol knew Randy really wanted to get home to play with his friends.

They arrived at the mall and proceeded toward Carol’s destination store. The course of the journey from the parking lot required passing a pet store. When Randy looked in the window and saw that animals were in this store he somehow persuaded his mother to go in. That was definitely not her plan and confirmation of why she didn’t take Randy shopping with her as a matter of principle.

When they entered the store, it must have been like a Disneyland for Randy. His eyes grew huge as he scanned the seemingly endless cadre of animal life in their terrariums and cages. The place was alive with the smells and sounds of myriad animal life. Dogs barking, cats meowing, birds making all manner of bird sounds and then the silence of creatures not created to make sounds. Randy dragged his mother along as they passed toads and lizards of all kinds. Then there were the aquariums housing a potpourri of tropical fish and the sounds of bubbling air oxygenating the water of every tank. Finally they reached a section that had rows of terrariums. The first few terrariums housed huge tarantula spiders. These were followed by the snakes.

Suddenly Randy’s eyes were drawn to a small terrarium that was home to a small red and tan rat snake. Immediately his longing for that snake erupted in a pleading request to his mother: “Can I have that snake? PLEEEZE!”

Red Rat Snake

Now the last thing Carol wanted was that or any other snake in her house! It was simply out of the question. But, before she came out with the flat denial that filled her thoughts, she paused and concluded she didn’t want to simply flat out deny the request. Thoughtfully and carefully Carol issued a challenge.

Thinking that the $29.95 price tag would be out of Randy’s reach for a long enough time to hopefully dispel his desire for it, she challenged with, “When you can buy it with your own money, you can have it.”

Randy responded without a fuss and off they went to the original purpose of the trip. Unknown to Carol, Randy’s mind must have been calculating, evidenced by what happened when they arrived home.

Randy made a beeline for his bedroom where his desk drawer contained a bankbook. With the bankbook in hand Randy raced to the kitchen. Presenting the book to his mother, he asked, “Please take me to the bank and withdraw the $29.95 so I can buy that snake.”

Now some fast thinking on Carol’s part had to be done. Almost without skipping a beat she retorted, “Randy, that money is for your education. Sorry, you can’t take any of it for that snake.”

Randy continued to show no disappointment. There was no crying or stamping of feet, but as later actions revealed, he quickly concocted another plan.

The next morning, Carol and I did something we almost never do, we slept in. Usually, we are up by 7 on a Saturday morning setting out to do what can’t be done during the work week. Sleeping in however was the perfect setting for the plan Randy had been hatching since the bankbook ploy failed. Suddenly at 8 there was a knock on our bedroom door.

Randy asked’ “Can I come in?”

I said, “Yes.”

Randy entered our room and held up a fist full of money with the ardent request, “Can you take me to buy that snake?”

Carol and I were shocked to say the least.

“Where did you get that money?” I demanded.

“I just ran a garage sale and I have my $29.95!” was Randy’s mater-of-fact answer.

I looked at Carol and read the dismay radiating from her face at the now inevitable reality that a snake would soon be resident in our house.

I was somewhat skeptical that a six-year-old was capable of running a garage sale. I quickly arose, got dressed and went about investigating. I went outside and surveyed the driveway and front yard. I couldn’t see any hard evidence of my son’s garage sale tale. I stepped into my empty driveway when my neighbor across the street called and waved me over.

My neighbor Gary, a retired Navy man, opened his garage door every morning, sat at his workbench and read his morning newspaper over a cup of hot coffee. It was no different this Saturday morning.

I walked across the street and greeted Gary. With a big smile on his face, he told me the rest of the garage sale story.

Gary related that he witnessed Randy opening our garage door around 6 am. He was very careful to open it very slowly so as not to make any noise that might wake us up and foil his well crafted plan. Randy proceeded to get out a large piece of cardboard from inside the garage. With a large magic marker he wrote in big letters “GARAGE SALE” and the number of our house on the cardboard. Randy then crossed the street to his friend Tommy’s house, roused him from his sleep and recruited him to give a hand with the next task in the plan. The two boys went into the backyard where they retrieved two benches from the picnic table set. One by one the boys lugged the benches and placed them in the middle of our driveway.

Two blankets from the garage were neatly placed on the benches. Randy then brought out a couple of boxes that contained some his toys. Small match-box cars, trucks, airplanes and construction machines were inspected by Randy and some were placed on the benches. These were deemed dispensable. The toys accumulated on the benches were tagged with prices on bits of masking tape and carefully arranged in groups. Cars were placed together in one area, trucks in another, airplanes and construction equipment like bulldozers and back loaders in another.

This phase completed, the boys took the garage sale sign to the end of our block and taped it to the lamp post.

At about 7 am, people began to show up. They searched the sale of toy cars, trucks and airplanes laid out on the blanket clad benches. The people saw this as a gold mine of toys as most of them were in excellent condition and the prices at 25 to 50 cents each were deemed a bargain. Gary’s curiosity got the better of him and he wandered over to survey the situation. He watched as people excitedly collected toys they wanted. They paid Randy in cash for their purchased items. Gary noted that Randy carefully counted his earnings after each sale was completed. In about an hour, Randy realized he had just what he needed for his snake. He abruptly told the few remaining buyers that the sale was over. The final few items were purchased and everyone left.

Randy and Tommy put the few unsold toys back in their storage boxes and proceeded to return everything to their original places. Lastly they removed the sign before more people would come looking for the advertised sale.

My neighbor told me how fascinated he was with the whole episode. He asked me, “What was it that motivated Randy’s extraordinary action?”

I told him, “A snake. He saw a snake at the pet store yesterday, but Carol was not too thrilled over that idea. She told him he can have it when he can buy it with his own money. Surely she never thought it would happen this fast.”

It was later that morning that we took Randy to buy his snake with his own money, just as his mother had legislated. The smile on his face as he proudly paid the cashier at the pet store was a proud moment for Carol and me.

We got used to having snakes in our house as Randy continued his fascination with these creatures. He learned to care for them and feed them. It must have been one of the things that inspired him to later pursue an education in veterinary medicine.

Randy a few years later with a Pine Snake

Turning Point

This experience is an obvious turning point for Randy, wherein he realized that if he set his mind and resources toward achieving a goal, he could do it. Additionally, if he was willing to make sacrifices, those sacrifices could make the difference between success and failure. This experience was also a turning point for Carol and me. With it we realized how powerful an influence over our son a challenge issued by his parents can be. If we had just given in and bought Randy what he so desperately wanted would have robbed him of this life changing turning point. Randy had experienced a great lesson that prepared him for the challenges his life would bring him. As parents we continued to give challenges to our son that also proved to be significant turning points for all of us.

Parents have the ability to create turning points in the lives of their children. The more aware we become of the impact of our own turning points, the more we value them, the more grateful we become and the more we can see opportunity to create them for others.

El Camino Memorial Park – The Babies

On a Saturday morning prior to our Service for the Departed in 1982, Carol, Randy and I went to El Camino Memorial Park in San Diego. We went to visit the grave of one of our church members who had been laid to rest a few days before. We wanted to be sure that the fresh grave site was clean and dignified.

As we walked through the rows of grave sites in search of our church member’s grave, we glanced upon the many grave markers with names and dates. I was particularly taken and drawn to a grave stone of a young girl of seventeen. She had been murdered. I paused and prayed for her and her grieved parents. The deep hurt of her family leaped out of the inscription on the grave stone in the words “MURDERED” and “BARELY SEVENTEEN” and it gripped my soul.

We continued on until we found the grave of our friend. We found it was neatly groomed and still had some fresh flowers on it. After some moments of prayer and contemplation we left to return home.

As we drove through the park toward the exit, Randy saw a pond with ducks swimming around. He begged me to stop and allow him to go to see the ducks. I parked the car at the edge of the road and Randy and I got out.

We walked down the sloping grounds toward the pond. After a while observing the ducks swimming around the pond I told Randy it was time to leave and we began to trudge up the hill toward the car.

As we walked I looked down and noted that the grave stones had but one solitary date. I thought how unusual that was and realized that these were all very young children, infants most of them. I stopped in my tracks as the impact of this realization touched my soul. I stood transfixed as I took in the environment around me.

There in the midst of these graves were two pine trees with low hanging boughs. Dangling in the branches were toy cars and trucks, dolls and trinkets. I paused to consider this picture and realized that these toys were attempts of sorely grieving parents seeking to reach out to their child with a gift, a sign of their love for them not stilled by their death. I had this profound feeling in that instant; that what an amazing gift God gave us in prayer. We can pray for our departed loved ones, and thereby show our love for them in the spiritual and need not rely on the material.

Years later, I revisited this Garden of Innocents and found that the trees had been removed or trimmed and the toys and trinkets removed. Surveying the scene, now different from my first visit, in my heart I hoped that the parents of the babies memorialized there have since discovered that their prayers convey their undying love as no toy or trinket could ever do.

Turning Points

The first brief moment in the garden for innocent babies served to significantly deepen my appreciation for the awesome power of prayer. Faced with helpless and hopeless feelings that surface when we are unable to help someone, the power of prayer and the knowledge that prayer changes things, situations and me, becomes a turning point, revealing this God given resource known as prayer. It can be an inspiration to practice and master prayer, pouring out our deepest emotions to the One who hears and answers and changes things for our benefit.

The Cell Phone at Church

The advent of the 2000 millennium ushered in an age of electronic devices that have become ubiquitous and a constant presence in every venue of our lives. Cell phones became “smart” and provided an amazing plethora of connectivity at the touch of a finger. These devices have come to be virtually indispensable in the minds of everyone and particularly the teenage crowd. This reality played an interesting part of an otherwise typical Sunday morning at our church.

I made my normal early morning preparations to minister the Sunday sermon at our church in El Cajon, California. Everything that day was typical for a Sunday morning as I drove to church for the morning service. It remained typical until I was a few minutes into the sermon. It was then that I noticed a teenager in the congregation leaning over intently. At second glance, I noticed he was franticly entering information into his cell phone. My initial thought was that the sermon was possibly boring to him, but then thought otherwise. The notion that maybe he was taking notes of the sermon flashed into my mind.

After the service the lad stopped to greet me. I asked him to show me his phone which he proudly did as it was new and had all the latest features. I mentioned that I noticed him taking notes during the sermon. I asked if he would kindly share them with me. I suggested he could e-mail them after he downloaded them at home.

He immediately bowed his head and, looking at his shoes, shamefully confessed that he was playing a game on his new phone with the sound muted. Noting his obvious sense of shame, I simply said, “Oh,” and changed the subject. I inquired as to how he was doing at school. We had a pleasant chat and parted with a smile a firm hand shake.

The following Sunday I again noted the same behavior from this young man. This time for some reason I did not get to greet him after service before he left with his family.

But, when I got home and checked my e-mails, I found one from him. Attached to his email was a lengthy epistle of the morning’s sermon. I was astounded as I read it. The caliber of its content, its thoroughness and completeness was quite impressive. The words revealed a detailed and thoughtful assimilation of the spirit of the sermon. I was deeply moved by how well he was able to grasp even the subtleties of the sermon’s content as well as his perspective on its application to his life.

I wrote him a glowing thank you e-mail and praised him for his willingness to share his notes with me. I noted how impressed I was at the thoughtful perspective he had and his ability to assimilate the sermon.

Turning Point

I am grateful that my first negative impression was quickly supplanted by a positive one. This simple and instant about face positioned me to guide our ensuing conversation to turn a negative to a positive result. It is amazing how catching someone doing something right and acknowledging it can prove to be a positive influence on someone. It is much more enjoyable to praise than to critique. (Refer to “simple Words -Powerful Turning Points” post)

Turning point lesson: look for the positive to turn a negative to your advantage.

I Want You To Manage This Project

In the winter of 1965-66 I was assigned to support the final stages of the installation of coal-fired power plant project at the Orange and Rockland Utilities on the banks of the Hudson River. I worked under the guidance of Pete, the senior service engineer heading up the project for Foster Wheeler. I experienced on this assignment numerous turning points. (Refer to “It doesn’t Work – Fix It” post)
One cold, raw and blistery winter weekend a series of tragic events took place. The consequences of what happened that weekend were revealed on Monday morning.
Our team of service engineers had arrived at the company trailer office and we began sharing our weekend exploits over our morning coffee. Suddenly the office door opened and in walked Bill, the senior vice president. He was a very personable man with a smile that put you at ease and a demeanor that garnered great respect.

William “Bill” D. Stevens

We all knew something was very wrong that morning just by the look on his face. Bill explained that Pete had suffered the loss of his wife and father over the weekend. Both had died unexpectedly. The shock of this sad news hit all of us very hard. Pete was loved and respected by all of us not only as our leader but because he was such a great person and teacher.

As the initial shock subsided, Bill told us that Pete would not be coming back to the job. Pete had requested an assignment in Japan where he had previously worked for the company some years before.

Bill asked each of us what we were working on and after our report asked each of the team to carry on except for me. He asked me to show him around the plant.

Bill and I left the trailer and headed toward the plant. Once we were out of sight of the rest of the team, Bill stopped and said to me, “Allan, I don’t need a tour, I designed this boiler. I wanted to get you alone because I want you to manage this project.”

I responded, “Do you realize, sir, that I am still on my training program and all of the others have seniority on me?”

He said, “You may be on our training program, but when you woke up this morning, you were a senior service engineer. And you have a retroactive pay raise accordingly. I want you to manage this project because I trust you.”

I told him I accepted and promised to do my best. Bill told me that if any of the team members gave me a hard time, I should let him know and he would support me.

Over the next weeks I enjoyed the full support of the rest of the team save for one. He resisted my promotion and leadership. I did my best to win over his support, but he dug his feet in and attempted to sabotage my work. I felt the need to respond as Bill had asked and the rebel was reassigned.

The project progressed, reached a state of completion and was turned over to the utility to operate. The other team members went on to other projects and I remained alone to finish up the final project details.

However, big trouble lurked around the corner.

The utility management unfortunately made some operational decisions that were inconsistent with our procedures. The result was one of the eight coal burners became non-operational. In spite of having one less burner they continued to operate the plant at over 100% capacity. This caused a condition inside the boiler that put the integrity of the boiler at risk. Noting this situation I verbally notified the utility management that they needed to decrease the plant operation to 90% capacity or less or there would be costly consequences. This verbal request was not heeded.

I went to the trailer office and typed a letter to the utility management. There were no copy machines at that time so I had to make carbon copies. I made copies for Bill, the manager of our service department, a file copy for the project file and a copy for my personal file. At the bottom of the letter, I made a place for the utility manager to sign his acknowledgement and one for me to witness it.

The original and copies in hand, I marched to the utility manager’s office and presented them to him. I asked him to sign them as his acknowledgement.
In the letter, I explained in detail what was happening in the boiler as it was operating at elevated capacity with only seven of eight burners. I warned that this condition would create slag accumulation on the boiler tubes. The rate of accumulation would be such that after three to four days the slag would bridge the boiler’s base and automatically shut down the boiler. The resulting repairs would take six to eight weeks of round the clock effort and the boiler and plant would be idled for that duration. I stated that continued operation passed the next 24 hours would absolve our company of any responsibility for the consequences suffered by the utility during the resultant outage.

The manager willingly signed the letter and copies. I signed the original and each copy as witness to his signature. I left him with the original and proceeded to mail copies to the office and filed the file copies.

That detail done, I waited, staying on the jobsite round the clock. I felt that I needed to be there at the moment my predictions came to fruition. In anticipation of this, I had packed a suitcase with the necessities for staying overnight in our trailer office for a few days.

The utility management decided to ignore my letter and continued to operate the boiler at the elevated rate. I documented the status each day in a report. It took a week and half for my prediction to become reality.

The boiler shut down when the slag bridged over the base of the boiler. Now the recovery work began.

Six weeks of round the clock work was required to finally bring the boiler back on line. It required a careful management of personnel from numerous trades. The laborers were all union workers so there were political sensitivities that had to be considered. Each shift had to be designed so no shift got more prime rate hours than another. Laborers were making a lot of money and they were paid in cash weekly. It was a very challenging management venture but it all worked without incident. The slag was removed, a new burner was installed to replace the damaged one and the whole system was re-tested prior to release back to the utility.

The project was completed and I returned to the office to write and file the final report.

Some six months later, I was working as an engineer in the nuclear department. (Refer to “What Do You Want To Do in This Company?” post) One day, the corporate attorney appeared in my office. He asked me if I still had a copy of that signed letter that I had delivered to the manager at Orange & Rockland Utilities. I opened my desk file drawer and retrieved my file folder for the utility.

Paging through a few sheets I said, “Do you mean this one?”

He took a good look at the letter, quickly perused it and said, “Yes this is it. You just saved the company from a multi-million dollar lawsuit. Thank you!”

Turning Point

The promotion to manage the project under very stressful conditions and the successful resolution of all the issues, gave me confidence in my abilities to manage not only situations but personnel as well. This experience gave me confidence when the future brought other diverse and very challenging situations. Following this experience, another turning point followed in its footsteps. (Refer again to “What Do You Want To Do in This Company?” post)

I acknowledge God’s hand in these intricate series of events that ultimately opened the door for me to move to San Diego.

Simple Words – Powerful Turning Points

I discovered that simple words or phrases contained wisdom that, when brought to mind at just the right time, had the potential to become a significant turning point. The more I came to realize this, the more sensitive I became to these words and phrases. I began to collect them and use them when opportunity arose to inspire others.

If you believe . . .

One of the earliest of these phrases was famously attributed to Henry Ford. He is purported to have said, “If you believe you can, or you believe you can’t, you are right.”

I pondered the truth of this statement and added my own corollary: “If you believe you can, you will; but if you believe you can’t, you won’t.”

The experience I have often shared regarding an application of this axiom occurred when I worked in a hi-tech company in San Diego in the late 1970’s. I was manager of the engineering and manufacturing departments and my team of professionals were typically assigned to support nuclear physicists with the projects they managed. One such project was scheduled to be shipped out on a Monday morning.

On the prior Friday afternoon, Joe, the project’s physicist came to me and said, “We just broke our last optical encoder on the machine and we will not be able to ship on Monday. You will have to cancel the shipment.”

I had put forth a significant effort preparing for the shipment. It required organizing a crew of heavy machine movers and orchestrating trucking and manpower. I was not about to give up the plan so quickly. I insisted that Joe join me in the shop to assess the situation.

We went out to the machine on the shop floor to assess the situation. I looked over the inspection machine and noticed that the broken encoder. It was a laboratory version, obvious to me the reason for its failure. I explained to Joe that he should have installed a ruggedized industrial version to survive the rigors of a machine like this one. I asked Joe to get the catalog from the encoder supplier and join me in my office.

When he arrived, I opened the catalog and searched it for the appropriate ruggedized encoder for the project. Further review of the catalog revealed a picture of the company president on the inside covers. I picked up my phone and called information in Cleveland, Ohio where the company was headquartered. The Information Operator provided his phone number and I made the call.

The president’s wife answered and gave her name. I apologized for interrupting what must have been their dinner as it was 6:00 pm in Cleveland. She said her husband was on a business trip and was expected home any minute. I was about to ask her to have him call me, when she said, “Wait, he just came into the garage, can you hold?”

When the man came on the phone, I quickly explained our dilemma and gave him the part number of the ruggedized encoder we needed. I then asked him the really critical question, “Can you get here in San Diego tomorrow?”

He replied, “Yes, I can have my night foreman pack it up and get it to the airport for the 7:00 am flight to San Diego. It should arrive around 2:00 pm. Will that work for you?”

I responded in the affirmative, thanked him profusely and hung up the phone.

I looked at Joe who sat across the desk from me with a bewildered look in his eyes.

I said, “Joe, go get your team and inform them to arrive here at 2:00 pm tomorrow afternoon ready to install that new encoder and test the machine for as long as necessary. It is going to ship on schedule on Monday!”

Joe said to me, “How did you do that?”

I simply said, “I believed I could, so I did. You didn’t believe you could, so you were ready to give up.”

The “I”-CAN . . .

I attended a marketing and sales seminar one day. The facilitator was introduced and came out onto the stage with a small silver can in his hand. As he began to talk, he kept tossing the can from one hand to another. Then he threw it up in the air and caught it. After a few minutes of this can gymnastics, he revealed to us the significance of the can.

He explained that each morning when he awakes, he grabs his can and carries it through his morning rituals. For him, it is his reminder that success comes in a “can” not in a “can’t”.

He urged all of us to buy a small can of tomato paste on our way home. Then take the label off and clean off the past residue. With a permanent magic marker, inscribe and large capital “I” on the top.

I said, “When you go to bed tonight, place it on your night table. When you awake in the morning, take the can with you wherever you go. When you look at it, be reminded that: success come in a can”, not in a “can’t””

When I was serving as a confirmation teacher for three young church members, we were studying the principles that Jesus taught in the Gospel and the expectations God has for us. One of the students shook his head and said, “Wow, that’s really hard to do!”

My response was puzzling to the class. I gave them instructions to bring a small can of tomato paste to the next class.

The next class began with questions as to the purpose of the cans. We all took our tomato paste cans and I had them remove the paper label. Then I handed each of them a permanent magic marker.

Following my instructions they printed a large capital “I” on the top of their silver can.

I explained, “I want you to take this can home and put it on your night table. When you awake in the morning, take the can with you wherever you go. When you look at it, be reminded that: Success come in a “can”, not in a “can’t”.”

As I was giving this instruction a further enhancing thought came to mind. I told the class that the dismay they expressed in the previous class at the difficulty they felt in living the life Christ hoped they would, inspired me to offer the “I-CAN” solution.

I said, “But if you don’t think that’s sufficient for you, turn the can over.”

I instructed them, “Take your magic marker and print on the bottom of the can “He”.

When you now look at that can, if you still have doubts, turn it over and realize that if you can’t, God can!”

Try to Catch Someone . . .

I was reading Ken Blanchard’s book “The One Minute Manager” when I came upon the page that read, “Help People Reach Their Full Potential. Catch Them Doing Something Right.” This was for me one of those “Ah-Ha” moments.

It struck me that most people had an eye for catching people doing something wrong so they could be corrected. This was a new perspective for me. While it was fresh in my mind an unexpected incident occurred during one evening at the dinner table.

My thirteen year old son Randy announced, “You will have to make other plans for Friday evening.”

“Why is that?” I inquired.

“Doug got expelled from school today and his parents grounded him for a week,” was Randy’s answer.

Typically on Friday evenings we took Randy to the local gym club where he met his friend Doug to play racquetball. Afterward they walked a few blocks to Doug’s house for a sleep over. Carol and I would do something together for an evening out at restaurant or visit with friends.

Shocked at Randy’s answer I inquired as to the reason behind Doug’s expulsion from school. Doug was one of the nicest kids we knew. He was a real gentleman. How could this have happened I wondered?

Randy explained, “Doug got caught throwing fireworks into the boys’ room at school.”

I immediately jumped out of my chair, leaned over and gave Randy a big hug and said, “Randy! I am so proud of you! You did so well!”

Puzzled at my outburst, Randy said, “Dad, what do you mean? What did I do?”

I said, “Randy, don’t you see? If Doug had access to fireworks, and gave into peer pressure to do such a foolish deed, so did you. But you chose to resist peer pressure. You thought it through and decided it was a foolish thing to do and it would get you into trouble. You took the high road and made a wise decision. That thrills me and makes me so proud of you.”

I found that Randy’s appreciation for his personal strength of character and his ability to make wise decisions was enhanced by this turning point moment.
Turning Points

Believing in yourself, believing you can, such belief (enhanced by trust in God) can turn many situations from failure to success, victim to victor.

Finding clever but effective reminders to appreciate what you can do with your gifts and talents can make the difference between success and failure. To appreciate the presence of God in your life and trust in His support to achieve your honorable goals can enhance your perseverance when facing obstacles along the way.

Catching someone doing something right and praising them in fine detail can change someone’s perspective and help them find the belief in themselves necessary for their own personal success in life.

Powerful turning points are indeed hatched in simple words.

God Taught Him

In the early 1980’s we opened a congregation of our church in Linda Vista, a community in San Diego, California. It was comprised largely of Southeast Asian refugees from the Hmong tribes of Laos and Vietnam. These souls became members of our small mission church in Mira Mesa that met in a pre-school. With over 200 refugees attending services in our little mission, moving to larger quarters was mandatory. The presence of our Asian members presented a rare opportunity to not only teach them the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but also to help them assimilate into the American way of life.

One family of the Cha family clan had four girls but no boys. For a Hmong family this was not desirable because girls left the family when they were married. The boys on the other hand remained and provided a source of support when the parents became aged. When Mrs. Cha gave birth to her fifth child, it was a boy. The event prompted a great celebration. As their minister, I visited the family to share in their joy of the birth of their first boy.

During my visit and through interpretation by her eldest daughter, Mrs. Cha explained to me that since her new baby was a boy, she would no longer be able to attend church services for a long time. I learned as our conversation continued that Mrs. Cha felt that with her girls she had control over their behavior. Hence, the girls were quiet in church during the sermon. Now with a boy, she felt such control was not even possible. Boys were much more unruly and noisy and so she wouldn’t be able to bring him to church until he learned to listen to her.

I carefully explained that it was important for her to bring her baby boy to church where God would bless him and teach him. But Mrs. Cha answered saying that her baby didn’t understand Hmong or English so how would God be able to teach him?

I explained that God would teach her little boy not through language but by His Holy Spirit. This seemed to make sense to her and Mrs. Cha accepted it in faith. She agreed to take her son to church.

Over the next nine to ten months Ms. Cha, her children and husband faithfully attended services in our church. Her boy grew strong and before he was a year old he was walking. As with most little boys he was very active but tended to stay quiet during services.

On one Sunday morning when this little boy was about eleven months old, our Bishop from Los Angeles visited San Diego and the members from our six congregations in the area came together at one of our larger churches.

The church family packed chapel with not an empty seat to be found. In fact, a row of folding chairs were lined along the back wall of the church to accommodate the large crowd.

The organist began to play and the congregation stood to sing the opening hymn. I followed the bishop and other ministers and walked up the center aisle to take our places at the front of the church. After a short personal prayer, I opened my hymn book and began to sing along with the congregation. As I sang I surveyed the crowded church. To my great concern, I saw that Mrs. Cha, her four girls and her little boy, were seated in the second row of pews. I instantly began to worry that the little boy would soon be acting up and become a distraction during the sermon.

For most of the sermon, to my great relief, the little boy was well behaved, sitting on his mother’s lap. But then my greatest fear became a reality. The lad stood up in his mother’s lap and began to jump up and down. I watched as Mrs. Cha struggled to quiet her boy but to no avail. Suddenly she reached into her pocket and extracted a 25 cent coin and gave it to her boy. I surmised that she did this in hopes that his fascination with it would cause him to sit down in her lap and quietly play with it.

The boy, his eyes open wide, stared intently at the coin. His mind seemed to be momentarily transfixed on this unexpected treasure. Quickly, coin in hand and broadly smiling, he wriggled off his mother’s lap in pursuit of his own personal mission. To my surprise and well as his mother’s, he weaseled his way past his sisters till he reached the center aisle. A momentary glance between Mrs. Cha and me revealed her dismay couched in a weak smile.

Once into the aisle, the little guy made a beeline down the aisle and abruptly stopped at the offering box that sat upon a pedestal at the last pew. As I observed his journey, I secretly hoped that his father, sitting on one of the folding chairs along the back wall, would see his son and scoop him up and take him on his lap.

The boy stood before the offering box for a brief moment. Then he turned and reached as high as he could to put the coin into the slot on top of the offering box. The whole church heard the loud clangs created by his tapping the coin on the side of the offering box as high up as his reach allowed. He was simply too short to reach the slot in the top of the box.

Now his father jumped into action. He rose from his chair, quickly ran to his son and lifted him by his legs high enough to allow him to reach the slot and drop the coin into it. When his father put the boy down and before he could react further, the lad twisted out of his father’s grasp and raced back up the aisle, wriggling past his sisters and into his mother’s lap. There he sat, a big grin on his face, his pride over his accomplishment beaming from his face.

After the service was over, I spoke with Mrs. Cha and asked her, “Who taught your son to offer that coin?”

She replied, “I wasn’t me, because he does not understand Hmong. It wasn’t you, because he doesn’t understand English. It was God, just like you said, God would teach him by His Spirit!”

Turning Points

The acts of God in our life have profound implication in the lives of those He chooses us to serve. He subtly puts words in our mouth that become turning points in our understanding of His ways and in the lives of others. These turning points change not only the course of our lives, but also the understanding and faith we have for God. I find that faith and trust in Him are deepened and a grateful heart and mind are created. This experience with Mrs. Cha and her baby boy illustrated how the Word of God can have a powerful impact on the life of even a mere child. Further, I see how the faith of a mother can produce a lasting blessing on her children. We can’t underestimate what God can and will do for those who love Him.