September 2015 – The Turning Points of Life

The Candy Sales – Wholesale Learning

When our son Randy attended middle school, my wife Carol picked him up after school because the walk was a bit too long and there were too many busy streets to cross. Sometimes on the way home a stop at the store was necessary to pick up needed items.

One such day entailed a stop at a wholesale bulk item store. The store sold many bulk items that provided local stores, restaurants and small mom-and-pop shops easy access to wholesale supplies. Randy convinced his mother to let him buy a box of “now-and-later” candy, a taffy-like candy individually encased in wax-paper wrappers and assembled in packs of five. The box was wholesale priced at half what it cost at a typical store.

A few weeks later Randy brought some of his own money and bought five boxes. Each week the number grew until he was buying a whole duffle bag full. At this point I became aware of his purchases and inquired as to what was going on at school with all this candy.

Randy said, “I am selling these ‘now-and-later’ candies for quarter a pack.”

Considering he paid only twelve cents per pack, he made a very attractive profit, in excess of 100%. I asked if the school allowed this kind of business.

Randy said, “I don’t know, but up till now there‘s been no problems.”

I told Randy that if he were caught and reprimanded, he’d not only face the music at school but he‘d have to promise to cease and desist with his little business. He agreed.

For a few months, sales continued to be brisk and profitable, bringing in as much as $50 per week in profits. Then one day at the dinner table Randy admitted that he finally was caught. One of his “clients” dropped a wrapper on the floor. The teacher’s eye caught the event and reprimanded the student who promptly gave Randy up as the distributor. The teacher told Randy he must stop immediately.

With this news, I reminded him of our agreement and he assured me the program was finished.

The next morning, to my surprise, I saw him with two smaller duffle bags, both crammed with “now-and-laters”.

I asked, “What happened to our deal?”

Randy replied, “Dad, when you warned me what would happen if I got caught, I made a contingency plan. I am now only a wholesale distributor. I recruited two school friends as salesmen and they pick these up from me a block from school. They pay me 17 cents per pack and they sell them for a quarter. That way we all get a cut of the profits!”

I could only marvel at his ingenuity and forethought. Eventually, the program died when the school year ended, but what lessons he learned. These lessons served him very well in his future.

Turning Points

The turning point for me was to never underestimate the creativity of youth, especially your own children. Important was to guide them and their creativity toward positive life goals. Teaching consequences for actions was another life lesson of this experience.

A turning point for Randy was he learned that when one plan wasn’t working, another plan was required. The second plan needed to circumvent the issues that caused the first plan to no longer be viable. Creative thinking through the problem resulted in another success.

The Garden of Innocence – God’s Plan for Me

I was a few weeks away from retiring from my evangelist ministry in the New Apostolic Church. In our faith, we have scheduled three special services each year that were dedicated to the departed. These services for the departed had very deep meaning for me and I made sincere deliberate preparations for them. My experience as a four year old boy had significant influence on my personal involvement in these services and this early turning point I documented in my story entitled “Aunt Frieda – My Grandma” (June 2015).

Divine services for the departed were scheduled each year for the first Sunday in March, July and November. It was the Saturday morning of March 1, 2008 that I woke up very early and in my morning prayer dedicated my day to preparation for this special divine service for the departed. Not only would the service be my last to officiate a departed service but it was also included the baptism of a very special baby girl named Samantha Angele. (See the story “Samantha Angele – Miracle Baby” to be published soon)

I began my morning by making a pot of coffee and a light breakfast. I retrieved the morning paper from our front porch and sat down at our kitchen counter. As I waited for the coffee to brew, I opened the paper and briefly scanned the front page of each section. Then my eyes fell upon the local Family Section that had emblazed on it a picture of a statue of a kneeling woman on a gravestone with children’s names engraved upon it. The article was entitled “A dignified farewell”.

I was immediately captivated by this article and read it completely from beginning to end. It told of this Garden of Innocence, a final resting place for abandoned children. I had never heard of it before. The article further stated that this Saturday they would be burying their 100th baby named Annemarie. Engulfed in the deep feelings the article evoked in me, I decided I had to attend this funeral service. I showed the article to my wife and we both agreed we had to make this funeral our priority for the day. We both felt it was a divine calling with feelings in both of us being so strong.

We dressed, prepared ourselves and drove the few miles to El Camino Memorial Park. When we arrived we were directed to a hilltop. W made our way through the cemetery’s green lawn strewn with gravestones leading to the hilltop. We reached the Garden and found over 100 visitors preparing for the 10 am service. We of course had no idea what to expect. The guests sat on white folding chairs under a large green temporary canopy next to a circular sidewalk. The statue of the kneeling woman whose image was in the newspaper was off to one side of the sidewalk. Seeing it in person was very touching, as her face depicted a mother’s heartache at the loss of her child. The names on the stone and the dates, we later learned, memorialized babies whose remains had been cremated prior to entry into the Garden.

In the middle of the circular sidewalk were grave stones with the unique Garden of Innocence angel and heart logo and the names of babies interned previously. At the head was Adam’s headstone, the first baby to enter the Garden on June 19, 1999.

As the service began, a contingent of forty or more Knights of Columbus, dressed in their full regalia, marched up the hill toward the Garden escorting Annemarie in her little hand made wooden casket. The elegance of the Knights with their colorful formal dress replete with capes, swords and plumed hats added to the heart touching atmosphere. Elissa Davey the founder of the Garden sang a moving song “In this Special Place”. This song created a wonderful spirit of peace that came over the whole garden. As the Knights approached the Garden entrance, all in attendance were invited to form a circle of love on the circular sidewalk to welcome baby Annemarie into the Garden.

What happened next was quite unexpected but very moving. After we silently and reverently formed our circle on the sidewalk; the casket was passed from one to another. As I held the casket in my arms, deep feelings stirred in my soul. I quietly expressed my love to baby Annemarie and invited her to be my special guest at the service for the departed the next day. As I did this the song “O Come with Me” filled my thoughts. The first words of the song “O Come with me and I will lead you gently into a garden of enchanting charm” seemed so perfect. It depicted the special feelings that consumed me in that moment. Immediately I decided that this song would serve as the opening hymn for Sunday’s service. I passed the casket into the arms of my wife Carol. She also invited Annemarie to our service and passed her on to the next guest beside her in the circle. When the casket reached the end, the last person placed that casket on a table draped in a white tablecloth. Flowers and a small stuffed animal were placed to adorn the casket.

Next was a reading of a poem for Baby Annemarie and then the visiting minister offered up a prayer and sermon. Each was very touching and caused movement in our hearts and souls. People were invited to share what the Garden meant to them and then came the very impressive dove ceremony.

A white dove was given to a volunteer and the dove was released to represent the spirit of Annemarie being set free. The dove flew around a few times but instead of leaving to fly home as it normally would, it landed on the overhead canopy.

Carol and I were standing next to the canopy and Joe, the owner of the doves, was also standing there next to us. He remarked that this was strange in that it had never happened at the Garden before. Carol asked me if I thought there was some significance to this bird landing and staying on the canopy.

I said, “I think it is Annemarie telling us she accepts our invitation for service tomorrow.”

Then three more doves released were for the Trinity followed by a group of volunteers who read off one by one the 99 names of the other babies in the Garden. When the last name was read, two large white wicker baskets that were placed in the center of the circle were opened. There must have been 100 beautiful white doves that flew up in a din of fluttering wings, up through the trees circling the Garden in the sky above until they turned and left for their home. It was simply breathtaking.

Carol and I left the Garden that day with emotions and feelings that were overwhelming. But the story didn’t end there. We made our way home and had lunch. We took a break to relax a bit in our back yard recounting our experience in the Garden when the telephone rang.

It was a member from our church who had volunteered to provide the flowers for the special Sunday morning service. She asked if she could stop by to share a special experience she had that morning. I encouraged her to stop by on her way home from church.

Birgit and her family were from Germany and living in San Diego. Her husband was stationed with the military in San Diego for three years. She was very talented with flowers as well as with music. When she arrived she asked how our visit to the funeral service had gone. I briefly shared our experience but for some reason did not mention the song that had captured my soul as I held Annemarie in my arms.

Then Birgit told us what she had experienced that morning. When she finished preparation of the flowers for the service, she began to leave to bring them to church. But as she walked past the organ in her living room, she felt a strong impulse to go to it and play. She sat down at the organ and noted that her hymnal was already open to No. 296 “O Come with Me” and she began to play it.

I asked Birgit at what time it was when this happened. She said it was shortly after 10 am and asked me why. I told her that at about that very time, I held the baby Annemarie in her casket in my arms, and that song entered my heart. That’s when I decided it would be the opening hymn on Sunday.

We were all profoundly moved and attributed the whole series of events to the wonderful hand of our faithful loving God and Father. We marveled at the many fine details that comprised the events of the day.

The next morning was one of the most moving experiences in the sanctuary of God that I ever lived. A detailed pronouncement of that day will be forthcoming.

Turning Points

This experience was a major turning point for me. I was wondering as I approached my retirement; what does God have for me as a new ministry? Well this was an answer I could not ignore; rather it was one that I heartily embrace to this day. It is not possible for me to put into words that are worthy of the feeling and experiences I have been blessed with as I actively participate in this precious ministry. Every volunteer, every participant is masters at blessing each other by their joyfully generous contributions to our Garden Babies and the family the Garden has become. I am so blessed to be a part of it.

Each visit to the Garden brings new connections, new friends and new turning points that create the greatest joy and grateful expressions to our God for all He has made possible through this ministry. Watch for the chronicles to follow to describe these precious moments.
[The song “O Come with Me” Lyrics by

[ To learn more about the Garden of Innocence and how to donate to its cause, please visit them at www.gardenofinnocence.org ]

When Will You Visit Me?

Zoey, my sweetest teacher

Life lessons and turning points have come to me at the least expected times and from unexpected people. Turning points happened without warning and surprised me in spite of my efforts to be prepared for them. Such was the case with a very young girl who proved to be one of my greatest teachers and the initiator of numerous turning points for my life.

All my experiences with Zoey as a little girl and all the way through her teenage years were life lessons that proved to be profoundly beneficial even to this day. One of those experiences came when I attended a birthday party for Zoey’s grandfather, Dave.

My wife and I were at Dave’s son’s home early one evening to celebrate Dave’s birthday. As I stood amongst the crowd of Dave’s friends and family, I looked across the room and noticed five year old Zoey nestled in her grandpa’s arms. I approached to greet her. As I neared she noticed me and put her hands on her hips in gentle indignation and said, “When will you come to visit ME?”

Not expecting this, I said in defense, “But I do come to visit you Zoey!”

She said, “No! You come and visit my mommy and daddy and then I have to go to bed!”

I said, “Zoey, I will visit you and we can send your parents to bed.”

I immediately set out in search of her mother, Dawn. Once found I proceeded to tell Dawn of my little conversation with Zoey. We arranged a visit for the following week.

In the days leading up to this first-of-a-kind visit for me, I wondered what it would be like. As a minister I made many pastoral family visits, but I had never made a visit exclusively to such a young child. My preparation for any pastoral visit included praying that I would be a blessing and bring something of value to the church members I visited. This was no different, except I must have prayed more fervently because out of this visit God provided a most effective turning point for me.

When the day dawned for my visit, everything seemed normal. Nothing in the day seemed out of the ordinary. After dinner, I dressed for my visit donning a sport coat and tie. I prayed prior to leaving home and drove the twenty miles to Zoey’s home. Still, everything seemed normal, belying what was about to happen.

When I arrived, I searched the area around the apartment building for a parking spot. I pulled into a spot on the street, gathered myself for this experience and prayed one last prayer for divine guidance and support. All the time I wondered how this visit would unfold. I climbed a flight of stairs and knocked on the door.

Quickly the door opened and Zoey greeted me in the doorway with her mother at her side. I was warmly welcomed and Zoey announced excitedly, “I made you some cookies!”

As I entered the apartment, Zoey asked me if I wanted milk or coffee to go with the cookies she made. I opted for the coffee and Zoey and Dawn made quick work of getting my coffee and Zoey’s milk on the coffee table in the living room. Zoey’s dad Greg came in to say hello and then he and Dawn went off to their bedroom, just as I had arranged.

Zoey and I sat down in the living room eating cookies and sharing our thoughts. I was thrilled at the depth of the conversation we shared. It was a really a sweet evening. I learned a lot about Zoey and what was important to her young mind. After about an hour, we prayed together and her parents emerged from their self imposed isolation to say good night.

As I drove home that evening I reflected on the deeper bond between us that had just been built. Time and experience later proved how deep and mutually beneficial this turning point really was for Zoey and me. In the evening together Zoey and I built mutual trust and respect for each other, and this opened doors for us to serve each other as she grew. Just one precious hour, face to face, heart to heart, soul to soul, and everything became different. God worked in the most wonderful way to create this blessing for us just as He would later open many more blessings. I marveled at His meticulous ingenuity as I witnessed His plans unfold before my eyes and He visited me with yet another turning point.

Turning Points

In addition to enhancing the relationship Zoey and I shared, this experience ushered in the understanding that such visits with all children created a connection with them that paid many dividends in their future and our relationship.

This experience gave me an interesting insight into the heart of children. It was a turning point in how I perceived my ministerial service to children. Following this experience, whenever I was appraised by parents that their child was having difficulties, I would make a visit with their child one-on-one as I had with Zoey. This opened many opportunities to develop a relationship that brought many positive results for both child and me.

These precious moments with Zoey revealed wonderful insight into her heart and soul. I developed a great appreciation for her special gifts and talents. She always found a way to touch my heart with how she uniquely saw the people and things around her. As you will see in future postings, Zoey became my teacher and this episode was just one of many lessons in our life together.

The Widow in the Woods

An aged widow of many years had run out of sufficient resources and was forced to sell her home. After paying off her substantial debts, all she could afford and maintain on her meager income was a small shack at the edge of a large forest. There she lived in poverty for years.

One day she decided to take a walk in the forest, something she enjoyed as her only pastime considering her financial limitations. She carefully cobbled together a small sandwich from yesterday’s leftovers and placed it in her little handbag along with a couple plastic bottles of chilled water. She set out for her walk taking a pathway through her back yard that was lined with large maple trees. Leaves had begun to fall having already reached their vibrant red autumn color weeks before. They crunched under her feet as she made her way to the log bridge that would take her over the brook that wended its way through the forest.

As she approached the bridge, the sun shone brightly, it rays piecing the thinning canopy of branches above. The rays reaching the forest floor played its shadows into mystical shapes. When she reached the midpoint of the bridge, she stopped to glance down at the babbling waters below. Suddenly, a ray of sunshine struck an object on the floor of the brook reflecting magically through the water. So dramatic was this scene that she ran to the end of the bridge and scurried down to the brook’s edge. Kneeling and pulling up her sleeve, she reached down and grasped what she thought had captured the sunlight.

As she rose to her feet she slowly opened her hand, and stared hypnotically at a huge gemstone, its brilliant color and size overwhelming her. As she stood silently taking in what she had just discovered, she began to assess what it would mean and how it would change her life. Obviously it was of great value. She would never have to worry again if she would have enough to eat. With a sense of renewed hope and a joyful smile on her face, she carefully placed the gem in her bag. She returned to the trail and continued on her planned journey into the forest.The autumn colors and seasonal aromas danced before her senses. The forest denizens scurried about making the most of their time collecting provisions for the coming winter. Squirrels and birds collected acorns and sundry nuts and berries, eating some on the run, burying others for future meals. The forest was alive with activity and the widow was thrilled to be an appreciative observer of God’s creation in action. A soft breeze rustled through the trees, causing a constant drift of colored leaves falling down from the heights to the floor below. Each leaf added to the multicolored mosaic carpeting the ground beneath her feet.

As the trail made a sharp turn around a large oak tree, she noticed a man lying against the trunk. He was aged and poorly dressed. His shoes were worn through in places. His long beard indicated he hadn’t shaved for months. He looked up at the widow with hopeless eyes and begged her for something to eat, saying he had not eaten for two days. If she could spare just a small morsel he would be eternally grateful.

The widow knelt beside him. She opened her bag and gave him the small sandwich she had made and the water bottles she had packed. He gratefully thanked her. After eating the sandwich and drinking some water, he regained some strength and offered again his appreciation for her kindness. But then he said that he had noticed a gem in her bag when she retrieved the sandwich and water. He asked if she would give that gem to him as well. Without hesitation, the widow dug into her bag and handed him the gem. He was astounded. And as she had done when she first found it, he stood silently taking in what she had just given him. He began to assess what it would mean and how it would change his life as it surely was of great value.

As he stood there in amazement, the widow rose to her feet, silently turned and continued down the trail. Then, the man came to his senses and called out to the woman, “Stop, please come back!”

The widow stopped, turned and went back to see what the man wanted. As she approached, he reached out with the gem in his hand.

“I am giving the gem back to you. But I ask that you give me in return something even more valuable than this precious priceless gem. That is, what it is that is in your heart that caused you to give it to me when I asked for it.”

The Turning Point

This story reminds us that graciousness is a powerful gift that when exercised has the ability to change lives. What we do speaks louder than what we say or what we give. When the Spirit of God is able to guide us, He leads us to be the blessing for pothers that God hopes we would become. Interesting to note is that when this widow awoke that day, she had not an inkling of what the day had in store for her. But her willing heart, sensitive to the urging of the Spirit made her a blessing for someone in need.

The turning point of this story for me was the revelation that the earth bound material we give is nothing when compared to the gift of leading someone to God, His righteousness, His grace and His love. The truth of the divine pronouncement, “Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all these things will be given to you” rings true. I wonder, who will God’s Spirit lead me to tomorrow? Will I be ready to be a blessing He hopes I will be?

The Mexico Connection – The First Fish Turning Point

Turning points in my life have appeared unannounced and camouflaged in unexpected events. They were often preceded by a chain of unrelated events that ultimately culminated in a classic turning point that changed everything. Such was the case in late 1970 after Carol and I had relocated to the west coast.

Where do you vacation when you live in Paradise? This was the question my wife and I wondered since we arrived in San Diego from northern New Jersey. The answer came from Carol’s friends at work. “You must discover Mexico!” was their response to our question.

So our first vacation while living in California found us going by train from Mexicali to Mazatlan in 1971. It was a great adventure that opened our hearts and minds to the beauty of the land and people who were our southern neighbors. This series of events set the stage for a turning point moment in time a few years later, 1974 when our son was a year old. Friends invited us to join them for a Saturday at a small vacation community just north of the town of Rosarita Beach. Americans owned a few dozen homes on a bluff above a beautiful beach, about 30 miles south of the border on the Baja peninsula. The setting was so perfect that Carol and I decided to rent that same beach house the following summer. With the pertinent information for renting the place from our friends we began to formulate our vacation plans.

We arranged to rent the beach house for the first week of August 1975. As the date approached, Carol and I began to accumulate the stuff we needed to take with us. As an avid fisherman, I was anxious to get my feet wet in the surf and fish for the feisty surf perch that swam just off shore. While we were visiting our friends the year before, I had noticed a local Mexican man fishing on the beach with just some monofilament line wrapped around a coke bottle. As we spoke, he displayed a nice string of surf perch he had caught. In anticipation of the fishing, I packed my seven foot surf rod, spinning reel and a supply of hooks and sinkers. The night before we were to leave, we loaded our little red Mazda pickup truck for our first family vacation in Mexico.

At the time our son Randy was two weeks away from turning three. It was a quick trip from our home in San Diego to the quaint little house perched above the blue Pacific Ocean. When we arrived, we quickly unpacked the truck and surveyed the house and its surrounds. There was a large flagstone patio in the back of the house that overlooked the ocean. A winding stone staircase led down the bluff to the beach below. We were all excited to get our feet wet and I found myself deep in thought as to what the week’s vacation would hold. Prime for me of course was the chance to fish the pounding surf.

Once we had all our clothes and food stowed in their proper places in the house, we boarded the truck for a trip into town and few miles to the south. The town essentially existed on a single broad and dusty main street lined with stores, restaurants and night clubs. The biggest and most famous landmark was the old Rosarita Beach Hotel. We were interested in finding a bakery and a supermarket where we planned to retrieve daily necessities to augment the food we had from home.

Each morning, I drove the truck into town to get fresh rolls from the bakery, a San Diego newspaper and anything else we needed from the grocery store. When Randy came along we looked for some treats for him.

I have found that turning points cannot be legislated or created by our own hand or mind. Such is the turning point of this story.

Since my childhood I was an avid fisherman. So, it was only natural for me to take along my fishing gear on a vacation that offered unlimited surf fishing in the Pacific. Each morning after breakfast, Randy and I went down to the beach. As the surf beat upon the sand, we scurried with small shovels in hand to scoop up as many sand crabs as we could catch. We filled a small bucket with a few dozen of the little creatures. These would become our precious bait. Of course Randy was simply fascinated by the little critters and would have been content to just spent time playing with them.
Sand crab
My desire was to feed as many of these critters on my fishing hooks to the hungry fish that I knew lurked just beyond the breaking waves. I had previously set up my surf fishing rod rigged with two hooks and a sinker. I baited the two hooks, took my position in the wash of the last wave and just as the next wave began to break I cast the bait, hooks, line and sinker over the wave. It quickly sank to the sandy depths below about thirty yards out. It didn’t take long for the first surf perch to take the bait. I hauled in my catch and Randy was so excited he wanted to try his hand at this new discovery – fishing.
Surf Perch
I showed Randy how to hook the flap of shell on the side of the sand crab and then helped him with the long surf rod and cast the baited rig past another wave. There he stood in his little red bathing suit, holding on for dear life to a seven foot long fishing rod. The motion of the waves and undertow kept a steady pull on the line causing the rod to bend at the tip.

Then it happened! A surf perch took the bait and all of a sudden holding on to the jerking rod became a real challenge for Randy. But, gritting his teeth for mental support, he succeeded in landing the fish all by himself. His excitement was written all over his face. Fortunately, I had my camera ready to record the event! Randy’s First Fish

Randy was hooked on fishing from this very moment. No longer was the catching of sand crabs the thrill of the day for him. Now, that was only the prelude to catching fish!

For a number of years following this initial vacation in Baja, we made the trip to that Rosarita beach house our annual destination. Each year Randy caught more, bigger and a greater variety of fish than he caught the previous year. These photos record the hauls for 1980.

Another Catch

Dog Fish

Dinner was great!

Turning Point(s)

Randy’s first fish was a turning point for me because it began a deeper connection with my son. Fishing became a common ground for our relationship. Over time it grew to include deep sea fishing in both the Pacific and Atlantic oceans, trout fishing in the glacier fed roaring Big Pine Creek in the eastern Sierras, Dorado fishing in Puerto Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas and shark and Dorado fishing in Cancun. But I also learned that as a parent, these life turning points cannot be planned, rather an open and expectant eye is necessary to see them as they present themselves. I am grateful that I saw the open door when Randy asked to fish in the surf that day. I didn’t measure his request by his size and think it impossible. I just worked to make it happen for him.
It turned out to be a profound turning point for Randy as well. It opened the door for him to learn many lessons in life and to find his passion. It became the vehicle for him to earn enough money to buy his first truck, to start a fishing club at school and to learn to love sushi and ultimately master the art of sushi making. His dream of owning and operating his own sushi restaurant became a crowning achievement among many others along the way.