Grieving – The Turning Points of Life

GRIEVING – Another Look

In the German town of Bisingen there is a small stone pyramid in a field where at World War II concentration camp once stood. In memory of those who died in that camp an engraving appears on that pyramid that reads: Wanderer, if you pass by here, remember those whose lives were taken before they had lived it meaningfully.

When I read this passage in Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Revenge of the Turning Point” I stopped and thought of our grieving over the passing on of our loved ones. As I paused to take in what I had just read, I re-read it several times.

That we feel grief over someone’s passing on is in fact the evidence that they lived a meaningful life. A life that impacted us to the point that it evoked grieving. What a potent way to see the gifts we received through the unique relationship we shared with them.

We all live our life with the hope that we have been a blessing to those we love. That our life with them had meaning. Not just meaning per se, but a meaning so profound that it produces grieving. If you read my other articles on this blog related to grieving, you will know that I see grieving as a positive experience. It’s something to cherish when we are able to rejoice in the blessings we garnered in the unique, one-of-a-kind relationship with that person.

With this new perspective, that our grieving is evidence of our loved one’s meaningful life in part through the blessings we possess, I am even more encouraged that we can deepen our appreciation of having a positive sense of grief.

Turning Points

I am constantly in awe of how the Spirit reveals to me new realities not only of grieving but countless other aspects of our life journey into learning and finding meaning in our own lives.

Gratitude – The Parent of Virtues

The amazing power of gratitude has found a deep-seated presence in my thoughts and soul, compelling me to write yet another article to join the other posts on the subject. The thoughts that have been cropping up in my mind have stemmed from the statement attributed to Cicero.

As I have stated before, gratitude is a deep sense of appreciation when one receives something undeserved. Gratitude has the power to transform our thinking. Using each gift we receive is the height of Gratitude. And again, I reiterate Hazelden’s quote:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

It can turn a meal into a feast,

a house into a home,

a stranger into a friend.

These two quotes have been my constant companion in my thoughts for weeks now. So, I write, what can we learn from this observation regarding Gratitude?

Gratitude is an attitude, and that implies that it is a decision, not a gift. If we look at the fruit of the Spirit and consider them as a starting point, we will see them as a gift of the Spirit. Something given to a faithful and open, accepting soul. Gratitude has the effect of opening a soul to accept the fruit as gifts of the Spirit.

Let’s consider the character of virtues. What is virtuous? Virtue is the quality of moral excellence.

Honesty, Courage, Compassion, Generosity, Fidelity, Integrity, Fairness, Self-control, and Prudence.

The cardinal virtues are Justice, Prudence, Temperance and Fortitude.

The theological virtues are Faith, Hope and Charity.

I urge you to explore how you have experienced gratitude as it opened for you a grip on the fruit of the Spirit. I invite you to share them with me and my readers.

Turning Points

Realizing more vividly the power of gratitude, causes me to protect my sense of gratitude from the daily onslaughts of the world’s noise that tries to inflict negativity on my senses. This is truly a turning point.

Grieving and Gratitude

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

In my day-to-day experiences, I find so many souls grieving. It almost seems like they are attracted to me in some strange way. As I have been grieving for over seventy-seven years, I must be some sort of authority on this deep emotional and spiritual reality of life. As I have navigated over eight decades of grief, I have experienced ever deepening understanding of how to experience grieving in a positive way, one that doesn’t steal away my peace and comfort. Therefore, I am very sensitive and observant to catch little and sometimes subtle revelations of positive touchstones for grieving more rewardingly.

My other articles on grieving within this blog attest to numerous of these discoveries. It’s also comforting to note that learning how to grieve with positivity enables us to be a blessing for others, helping them to discover what we have learned.

My latest revelation came as I scrolled through social media and came across this beauty.

This is one of those moments when two critical truths intersect. I have a passionate appreciation for gratitude and its power to transform one’s thinking and perspective. When my eyes first fell upon the words in this picture I immediately thought of grieving. That’s because I have found that we can find joy, yes JOY, in grieving. (See Grieving V in this blog for more on grieving with joy)

This statement “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others” immediately recalled the fruit of the Spirit. What greater virtues exist other than the fruit of the Spirit? Gratitude surely is the most powerful when it is the first thing in heart and mind when we begin a new day or when life’s challenges become overwhelming to steal our ability to sleep. Gratitude is potentially the solution to all negativity in our life including grieving. One might say that gratitude is the arch enemy of chronic pessimism.

I urge you to explore how you have experienced gratitude as it opened for you a grip on the other fruit of the Spirit. I invite you to share them with me and my readers.

Turning Points

With all the negative publicity on the evils of social media, I find it a positive thing when such goodness can come from posts such as the one in this article. For me it is a turning point in seeing another benefit of gratitude.

Being an Angel

Hebrews 13:2 New King James Version

²Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.

We understand that angels were created by God before the earth and heavens. He created them to serve Him and to do His will. They were created differently from we humans. They have unique characteristics making them free of some of the human limitations we have. However, key to understanding angels is their purpose, to do the will of God the Father.

Scripture makes many references to angels and thereby reveal their function and purpose. There are many words in the Old and New Testaments showing just how God used His angels in myriad situations to convey His will to the people for their blessing.

In the life of Jesus from beginning to earthly end an Angel played a key role. Firstly, an angel spoke to Mary to prepare her for her unique role in the great plan of salvation.

Luke 1:29-31 New King James Version

²⁹But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. ³⁰Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. ³¹And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son and shall call His name Jesus.

And then as Jesus faced His grueling sacrifice in the Garden and angle came to give Him the strength to accomplish His task.

Luke 22:39-44New King James Version

The Prayer in the Garden

³⁹Coming out, He went to the Mount of Olives, as He was accustomed, and His disciples also followed Him. ⁴⁰When He came to the place, He said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.”

⁴¹And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, ⁴²saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.” ⁴³^[Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. ⁴⁴And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Now let’s look at the question; Can I be an angel? Can a human being be an angel? The answer I believe is NO. We do not have the characteristics of angels. However, I believe we can function as angels, and often without realizing it. I have experienced something that can be considered being an angel unwittingly for someone, a stranger.

I was at social gathering at which I was not acquainted with everyone attending. After greeting a few people who I knew, I noticed a lady sitting all alone. I greeted her, a perfect stranger, and introduced myself. She introduced herself as Mary. As we spoke and shared our backgrounds, we found common ground and had a delightful conversation. Suddenly her husband joined us. She introduced us and the conversation continued without Tom contributing. Tom just sat quietly taking in the conversation.

For some unknown reason I initiated the topic of grieving into the discussion. I knew nothing of this Tom save for his name. As I spoke, I introduced the concept of ceasing to consider that someone who died “passed away”. Rather we should think of them as “passing on”. I explained how when we consider what our friend “passed on” to us in our unique relationship with them we will find authentic gratitude for the treasures we gained. I went so far as to say that when the gratitude reaches profound status in our heart and soul, we can find joy in our grieving. Joy that we were so blessed to have had such an extraordinary life together with our deceased friend. (See multiple Grieving Articles at this blog for the essence of my conversation)

Without a word, Tom abruptly arose and walked away. I feared for a moment that what I said may have offended him. As I watched him leave, I saw him walk away from the group and disappeared alone down the lane.

Mary then confided in me. She said, “He needed that!” She proceeded to tell me that he had lost his best friend a few months ago. He was having a hard time finding peace and comfort in his grieving. His wife further explained the depth of her husband’s relationship with his friend who had passed and the frustration he was experiencing.

Shortly afterward I was leaving and saying my goodbyes Tom came to me and thanked me for my words. His smile revealed that what he had heard had changed something for him.

During a conversation about “being an angel” a few days later, it dawned on me that I functioned as an angel to this man, a total stranger. In retrospect I now understand why I spontaneously initiated a conversation on grieving. Was it God reaching out to him, perhaps even answering his prayer? I was simply “functioning” as an angel. I was not an angel. But to this man I suspect I filled his need and as such he saw me as an angel.

[See “My Son is an Angel” article on this blog for more on angels]

Turning Points

It is a humbling experience to realize that God would use me to be a blessing for a total stranger. When I have the courage to allow the Holy Spirit to inspire something that seems out of left field, good things ensue. It prompts me to keep aware of what the will of God is calling me to do.

TRANSFORMATIVE MUSIC AND SONGS – Part 2

There are poems and songs whose music and lyrics have the power to touch our hearts, minds and souls and transform our personal perspectives. They grip our attention and cause us to listen and relisten as the spirit of the words and collaborative music reach the depths of our being. They team up to extricate us from our daily world of activity and challenge us to consider who we are and why we are here and where we might choose to go. I found these poems and songs to be thoughtfully written and when the songs are sung they touch me deeply each time I hear them. These poems and songs speak to my soul and refuel it. I will present a few of them here. Hopefully you too might find them something special.

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

Joseph M. Scriven

What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear.
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy-laden,

Cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior still our refuge!

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do Thy friends forsake Thee?

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

In His arms He’ll take and shield Thee;

Thou wilt find a solace there.

I find that if I read them slowly, feeling each word and phrase, the depth of their meaning to me is inescapable.

BE STILL MY SOUL

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the veil of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Katharina A. von Schlegel, pub.1752 tr. by Jane L. Borthwick, pub.1855 copyright status is Public Domain

I have found that poems much like song lyrics possess the power to touch the heart and soul. This is especially true when we have journeyed through grief and tragedy. In my yet to be published book on grieving I note the following poems that can comfort and renew my soul.

This poem by Henry Van Dyke gives an interesting metaphor to give a new perspective on the death of a loved one.

I Am Standing Upon the Seashore

Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone”

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me — not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,” there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”

And that is dying…

Death comes in its own time, in its own way.
Death is as unique as the individual experiencing it.

Sometimes a poem or song has multiple effects upon us. This poem, My Cross, is just that for me. First, it brings to profound remembrance of my dear mother. I found it among her papers, typed on a small piece of onionskin paper when after her debilitating stroke it fell upon me to care for the finances of my parents. The paper was faded and threadbare on the edges from heavy frequent use I surmised. But in that moment, it solved a long wonderment I had as to how my mother was able to navigate her constant health issues with an amazing positivity.

Second it provides another perspective of meaning. It illuminates the diverse blessings in the burden of our myriad lifelong troubles here represented in a cross.

Years ago, I discovered the source of this poem, titled “My Burden” composed by Amos Russell Wells. Amos R. Wells (23 December 1862– 6 March 1933) was an American editor, author, and professor. The poem “My Burden” was published in a volume titled “The Collected Poems of Amos R. Wells” in 1921.

MY CROSS

Upon my back was laid a grievous load,

A heavy cross to bear along the road.

I staggered on, until one weary day,

Lurking temptation sprang across my way.

I prayed to God, and swift at His command

The cross became a weapon in my hand.

It slew my threat’ning enemy, and then

Became a cross upon my back again.

I faltered many a league, until at length,

Groaning, I sank, and had no further strength.

“Oh God!” I cried, “I am so weak and lame!”

And lo! my cross a staff of strength became.

It swept me on till I regained the loss,

Then was upon my back, again a cross.

My soul a desert. O’er the burning tack

I persevered, the cross upon my back.

No shade was there, and in the burning sun

I sank at last, and thought my days were done.

But lo! the Lord works many a blest surprise –

The cross became a shade before my eyes!

I slept; I woke, to feel the strength of ten.

I found the cross upon my back again.

And thus, through all my days, from that to this,

The cross, my burden, has become a bliss,

Nor ever shall I lay the burden down,

For God one day will make my cross a crown!

I hope that sharing these perspectives I have gained from poems and songs open up new vistas that warm your heart and refuel your soul for each tomorrow of your life.

Turning Point

I find that many songs and poems contain words that reveal as a prism previously hidden the essence of our deepest thoughts confirming our vision of our life’s purpose. And like a diamond, each time we hear them they reveal a facet not seen in previous listening moments. It’s like a flower unfolding revealing beauty previously hidden within its bud. And at times we can even see how that song has had its effect upon our hearts, souls and minds fulfilling its intended divine purpose. And how sweet when the words of a poem or the lyrics to a song amplify the essence of our life.

TRANSFORMATIVE MUSIC AND SONGS – Part 1

There are songs whose music and lyrics have the power to touch our hearts, minds and souls and transform our personal perspectives. They grip our attention and cause us to listen and re-listen as the spirit of the words and collaborative music reach the depths of our being. They team up to extricate us from our daily world of activity and challenge us to consider who we are and why we are here and where we might chose to go. I found these songs to be thoughtfully written and sung and touch me deeply each time I hear them. I present the lyrics and then a link to YouTube so you can listen. Hopefully you too might find them something special.

God’s Gift To The World

This one
That one
Each one
Is God’s gift to the world

They are
We are
Each one
Is God’s gift to the world

There are no extra people
In a mansion or a ghetto
Each heart and soul is counted
Though they’re different than you

So look across the ocean
See those on distant corners
Or see the one beside you
Look in their eyes and you’ll know that it’s true

And all the lonely people
The first ones and the last ones
All the great and small ones
The ones that win and lose

All of the remembered
Even the forgotten
From every single nation
You know it’s true… for me and you

This one
That one
Each one
Is God’s gift to the world

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Michael Himelstein / Terry Sampson

God’s Gift To The World lyrics © Wb Music Corp., The Joe Brothers Music

Link to Carl Anderson’s rendition of “God’s Gift To The World”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ8nOrQ2A-M

Not Too Far From Here

Song by Hilary Weeks

Somebody’s down to their last dime
Somebody’s runnin’ out of time
Not too far from here
Somebody’s got nowhere else to go
Somebody needs a little hope
Not too far from here

And I may not know their name
But I’m prayin’ just the same
That you’ll use me Lord,
To wipe away the tears
‘Cause somebody’s cryin’
Not too far from here

Somebody’s troubled and confused
Somebody’s got nothin’ left to loose
Not too far from here
Somebody’s forgotten how to trust
Somebody’s dyin’ for love
Not too far from here

It may be a strangers face
But I’m prayin’ for your grace
To move me and take away the fear
‘Cause somebody’s hurting
Not too far from here

Help me Lord,
not to turn away
From Him
Help me not to rest
While those around me weep
Give me your strength and compassion
When somebody finds the road of life
Too steep

Somebody’s troubled and confused
Somebody’s got nothin’ left to loose
Not too far from here
Somebody’s forgotten how to trust
Somebody’s dyin’ for love
Not too far from here

Now I’m letting down my guard
And I’m opening my heart
Help me speak your love
To every need-full ear
Somebody’s waiting
Not too far from here
Somebody’s waiting
Not too far from here

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Steve Siler / Ty Lacy

Not Too Far From Here lyrics © Capitol CMG Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Link to Video with lyrics:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1mkVnuTUD8

Link to Michael Crawford’s rendition of “Not Too Far From Here”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtSlnoSz6Ac

Love Understands

I see the empty souls,

That walk the streets alone,

Families that hunger for a home.

Their pride is gone.

And I don’t realize,

That I could change their lives,

And mine by wanting to give more.

Open up your door.

So when you see a broken heart

Extend your hand,

Love understands,

Come up with more than just a dime,

Invest your hope,

And give your time.

Now wonder if this was you,

How would you get through?

And if you had others to feed?

Imagine all you’d need.

Too have to start again,

At someplace that I have been,

And I get to help to find a way.

I’m gonna start today.

So when you see a broken heart

Extend your hand,

Love understands,

Come up with more than just a dime,

Invest your hope,

And give your time.

A place to sleep, a place to start.

But when you give yourself it warms the heart.

So when you see a broken heart

Extend your hand,

Love understands,

Come up with more than just a dime,

Invest your hope,

And give your time.

So when you see a broken heart

Extend your hand,

Love understands,

Come up with more than just a dime,

Invest your hope,

And give your time.

Link to Marilyn Scott’s rendition of “Love Understands”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IaLzbMYGjg

[A future Post will explore spiritual hymns and hope they soothe, inspire and comfort the soul]

Turning Point

I find that many songs contain words that reveal as a prism previously hidden the essence of our deepest thoughts confirming our vision of our life’s purpose. And like a diamond, each time we hear them they reveal a facet not seen in previous listening moments. It’s like a flower unfolding revealing beauty previously hidden within its bud. And at times we can even see how that song has had its effect upon our hearts, souls and minds fulfilling its intended divine purpose. And how sweet when the lyrics to a song amplify the essence of our life.

TRANSFORMATIVE SCRIPTURE Part 3

The study of scripture has always been filled with new revelations that can transform our perspectives and understanding and even our character. I am presenting several of these scriptural texts that have been transformative for me. I have highlighted the words or phrases that caught my attention and inspired deliberation and growth.

While reading the book “Code Talker” by Chester Nez I was reminded of the following text.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJ Version

The Value of a Friend

Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? … Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 New Living Translation

⁹Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. ¹⁰If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. ¹¹Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? ¹²A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 The Message

^9-10It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!

¹¹Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

¹²By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.

I was first introduced to this profound passage at a wedding. It has stuck with me ever since. It is appropriate for a wedding of course, that is obvious. But reading the book describing the Navajo code talkers experience in World War II in the battle of Guadalcanal suddenly brought an interesting new perspective.

The Navajo code talkers were a critical asset for the allies during the war against the Japanese. A group of thirty-one young Navajo marines had been tasked with developing an unbreakable code based on their unique and unwritten language. On the battle field, these Navajo marines were paired up to translate critical battle related data between the troops and officers. The two Navajos formed a team so that each would check the other to ensure the accuracy of the coded transmissions. The quality and accuracy was a life and death situation. So highly dedicated were these marines that their code was never broken and contributed immensely to the success of the war.

While reading of the battlefield situation, it was noted that because they were teamed up in pairs, navigating the trauma of war became possible. The author confessed that had they been working solo, the horror surrounding them would have been impossible to take. As he described the landscape of war, the death and debilitating physical conditions they were mired in, it was easy to sympathize and empathize with his assessment.

Everyone has days of struggle and challenge. Often these can reach a level of intensity that can be daunting. But when we have faithful friends, those we can trust and rely on, meeting such challenges successfully and effectively is more easily achieved.

This made me realize another blessed aspect of “the value of a friend” and the wisdom of mastering the art of friendship. Faithful friends as described in Ecclesiasticus comes glowing into focus.

Ecclesiasticus 14-17

14 Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter (a strong defense); whoever finds one has found a treasure. 15 Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth. 16 Faithful friends are life-saving medicine, and those who fear the Lord will find them. 17 Those who fear the Lord direct their friendship aright, for as they are, so are their neighbors also.

[emphasis added]

Considering these thoughts, it is wise for us to labor with faith and diligence to build a family of faith friends.

Turning Point

I find that scripture contains words that reveal the eternal truths. And like a diamond, each time we read them they reveal a facet not seen in previous encounters. It’s like a flower unfolding revealing beauty previously hidden within its bud. Each revelation inspires the next exploration. And at times we can even see how that word has had its effect upon our hearts, souls and minds fulfilling its intended divine purpose. And how sweet when the poetic words of the past amplify the essence of the Word.

Transformative Scripture Part 2

I recently saw this on Facebook.

That’s what I find in my study of the Bible, new things to prompt more study. It’s quite thrilling to discover new things that pop out of scripture I read countless times before.

As a young minister in the 1970’s, I was blessed with two missions that thrilled me and were some of the most rewarding times I experienced. I was a Youth Leader and a Confirmation teacher. I would strive to teach these young people the value of the little turning points that would occur during their lifetime. I counselled them to take advantage of the blank pages at the back of their Confirmation Bible and record special moments in their life. And I particularly encouraged them to mark the scriptures at their Confirmation, Engagement, Wedding, and the birth of their children.

When I was about to retire, I went back to my Bible where I inserted my notes with special dates, occasions and the scripture that accompanied them.

At my Confirmation March 16, 1958, the scripture was Psalm 91:1-7.

Psalm 91:1-7 New King James Version

Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
²I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

³Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
⁴He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
⁵You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
⁶Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

⁷A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.

When I read this again celebrating my 50th anniversary of my Confirmation Day, I just trembled. It was exactly 50 years to the date, March 16, 2008, and the words struck me deeply. I don’t recall how many times I read those words during those 50 years, but I suddenly realized how those words had shaped my life. Each phrase had it’s own unique revelation as they were experienced in fifty years of experiences. It occurred to me that even though I didn’t read them often, the essence of these words entered my soul and fulfilled the intention of the One who put them there.

With the experience with my Confirmation text fresh in my mind, I searched my Bible pages for my Wedding text, Psalm 1:1-3.

Psalms 1–41 New King James Version

The Way of the Righteous and the End of the Ungodly

1 Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
²But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
³He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.

When I read this, I saw how this was also one whose essence permeated our marriage and the spiritual serving we did in our marriage together. Our love for the Lord and our joy in serving brought countless blessings to us and our family.

It is evident to me that it is not necessary to memorize the scripture, but rather to allow its essence to permeate our soul. Then the Holy Spirit can do His work with it as we faithfully pursue our life.

At my retirement April 27, 2008 the text was Psalm 103: 2-4

Psalm 103:2-4 New King James Version

²Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
³Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
⁴Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,

This passage from scripture captured the very profound feelings within my soul at this turning point in my life. And as with so many other transformational verses, a poet penned the words to a song that perfectly aligned with the essence of the scripture. It was no different at my retirement with the following opening hymn “O That I Had A Thousand Voices”.

O, That I had a Thousand Voices

O, that I had a thousand voices,

a mouth to speak with thousand tongues!

Then, while my heart in Him rejoices,

would I pro-claim in grateful songs

To all, wherever I might be,

what things the Lord has done for me.

Dear Father, end-less praise I render

for soul and bod-y strangely joined.

I praise Thee, Guard-an kind and tender,

For all the noble joys I find

So richly giv’n on every side

and freely for my use supplied.

What equal praises can I offer,

dear Jesus, for Thy mercy shown?

What pangs, dear Saviour, didst Thou suffer

and thus for all my sins atone!

Thy death a-lone my soul could free

from Satan, to be blest by Thee!

Let all my praise, up to Thee reaching,

be Thine too, Spirit of all grace,

Whose holy pow’r and faithful teaching

give me among Thy saints a place.

What-e’er of good in me may shine

comes only from Thy light divine.

Accept, O Lord, I know implore Thee,

the meager praise I give below;

In heav’n I better will adore Thee

when I an angel’s strength shall know.

There would I join their sacred praise

and heav’nly hallelujahs raise!

My profound gratitude for God’s allowing me to serve His people found voice in the words of this hymn. So sweet the way our God joins the words of scripture and hymns together to work His plan for us.

Turning Point

JOY

I have often discussed the joy that is fruit of the Holy Spirit. Though for some authentic joy may be elusive, I have found such joy comes easily to the grateful heart. Gratitude blossoms into true authentic and unshakeable JOY. My dear friend Joyce Williams Theilacker is a prolific writer with deep spiritual roots, and I find her posts on social media profoundly inspiring and thought provoking. Her two posts about joy I find worthy to share with my readers.

“Authentic Joy” . . . Joyce Williams Theilacker

Many grapple with the misconception that they must put on a facade of constant happiness to live out the Christian life, but the joy experienced by believers is not something we manufacture or pretend. It is a genuine, God-given gift that flows from the depths of our hearts. The Christian journey is undoubtedly marked by joy, as evidenced by the fruits of the Spirit. This joy does not eliminate the full spectrum of human emotions. In fact, the Bible itself reflects the entire range of human experiences, from sorrow and grief to rejoicing and celebration.

Genuine joy can coexist with various emotions. It doesn’t mean that we must suppress or hide our doubts, questions, or times of weariness. Rather, it means that even in moments of confusion, grief, or weariness, we can still possess the underlying joy that comes from our faith in Christ.

Consider the Psalms, where David, a man after God’s own heart, poured out his soul honestly before the Lord. He expressed times of discouragement, weariness, and lament, yet his trust in God remained steadfast. Joy is not the absence of other emotions but the presence of a deep, unwavering trust in the Lord.

Authentic joy is not a performance; it’s a reality apprehended by faith. It’s a choice we make to trust God despite our circumstances. It’s a decision to embrace His joy even when we don’t fully comprehend the complexities of life. It’s not about pretending to be happy but about seizing the joy available to us through faith in Christ.

In the church, it’s crucial to recognize that while emotions are a healthy and necessary part of our worship and expression of faith, they should never be forced. Each believer’s personality and temperament may lead them to express joy differently. Some may be exuberant and loud in their praise, while others may be more subdued and reflective. Neither expression is more valid than the other; both can be genuine reflections of the joy found in Christ.

Authentic joy is not a one-size-fits-all experience; it’s a deep, personal connection with God that finds its expression uniquely in each believer. It does not conform to external expectations but flows naturally from a heart captivated by the goodness and grace of our Lord.

As we embrace this truth, let us remember that joy is not something we need to put on for others or even for ourselves. It’s a gift from God that we simply receive and live out in our own distinctive way, reflecting the diverse beauty of the body of Christ.”

“Unshakable Joy” . . . Joyce Williams Theilacker

There is a joy that is unique to believers. This joy is not a mere fleeting happiness accessible to all, but a divine gift reserved for those transformed by faith in Christ. It’s a deep, abiding joy that we did not know before our hearts were awakened to Jesus.

Know that this divine joy prompts a crucial caution: the presence of joy does not inherently sanctify our inclinations or desires. The fact that something brings us happiness does not automatically align it with God’s will or make it beneficial for our spiritual well-being. In a world where happiness is often pursued at all costs, this distinction is essential. Many, driven by a skewed perception of joy, justify actions that stray far from biblical truths and make choices that lead them down paths of destruction.

The reasoning that “God desires my happiness; therefore I should pursue what makes me happy” is a dangerous oversimplification. It can excuse sin and lead us away from true fulfillment in Christ. The joy that Paul refers to is not akin to the ephemeral pleasures of this world but is a deep, enduring joy that arises from our union with Christ—a joy that can only be known through the transformative power of salvation.

Moses’ choice, as recounted in Hebrews, starkly illustrates this truth. He forsakes the temporary comforts and pleasures of Pharaoh’s palace for the afflictions associated with God’s people, valuing eternal joy over fleeting happiness. This decision underscores the profound difference between worldly pleasures and the joy of salvation. Only salvation offers lasting fulfillment and peace.

Believers are thus challenged to discern the nature of their joy: is it rooted in transient worldly pleasures or in the steadfast promise of God’s eternal joy? We must examine our hearts, finding our deepest happiness not in the fleeting delights of sin but in the enduring grace of walking in obedience to God.

As we navigate through life’s trials and temptations, this divine joy serves as our anchor, reminding us of the unshakable hope we have in Christ. It fortifies our resolve to live in accordance with God’s will, even when faced with choices that promise temporary happiness at the cost of spiritual integrity.

In embracing this joy of salvation, we find a treasure that far surpasses the world’s temporary pleasures. It fills our hearts even in the midst of trials, sustains our zeal for God’s service, and deepens our love for Christ and His people. This joy defines our identity as followers of Jesus, setting us apart in a world that seeks happiness in the perishable.”

Turning Point

Mastering the fruit of the Spirit is essential for the spiritual health and vitality of the soul. When we can feel the joy of the Spirit “it is well with my soul”. Discussions such as these help to keep awareness of the treasure that this fruit of joy brings to our life and keeps us in a state of profound gratitude.

Functional Trust

I have written a lot about trust and where one places one’s trust. As I explore the essence of trust and its importance, new perspectives emerge. In my book Solomon’s Recipe, I delve into the placement of trust in the Lord in what is really an untrustworthy world. But I am learning that simply understanding and accepting the value of placing an authentic trust in the Lord is not enough. It is critical for us to have a “functional trust” in the Lord.

I will in this article explore functional trust, what it is, why it’s important and how to attain it and maintain it for our own good.

But first I think it worthwhile to note some foundational facts that will open the way for my exploration. I pose the question: what comes first, trust or faith? Scriptura tells us that faith is a gift from God.

Romans 12:3 New King James Version

Serve God with Spiritual Gifts

³For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

1 Corinthians 12:8-9 New King James Version

⁸for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, ⁹to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit,

Ephesians 2:8 New King James Version

⁸For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,

It appears to me that since faith is a gift of God, then faith is untouchable by the evil one. Faith has the power of God. It is a gift for the recipient to use, protect, deepen within, and rejoice in. Sadly, it can be given up and lost. But how and why would one do that? This is where trust enters the discussion. Trust is something we develop and build as we edify the gift of faith. As faith gives us experiences to see the reality of God’s love for us, trust in Him evolves and deepens over time. So, if faith is protected from the evil one, just how does he, Satan, get to us to give up the gift of faith? How does he threaten our faith and cause us to lose it? The answer is trust. The evil one attacks our trust in the Lord. Now with this as our context let’s explore trust.

What is “functional trust”? When we think of function, we consider how effectively something works to achieve its intended purpose. A car for instance has the purpose of conveying its owner or user from one place to another. When all its parts and components are working in harmony, the vehicle is “functional” in moving the driver from one place to another efficiently, safely and in reasonable comfort. The car has thousands of critical components that must work together to accomplish its functionality.

Looking at trust, there are components to trust that require it to be “functional”. So, let’s start with the question: What is the function of trust? And what is the function of trust in the Lord?

Trust is meant to provide confidence and a living hope that the Lord will provide perfectly and precisely exactly what we need when I place those needs into His hands. When I place my trust in the Lord, I should be perfectly content and at peace, void of worry and stressful fretting over what shall happen next.

I am reminded of this scripture passage:

Matthew 6:31-33 New King James Version

³¹“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³²For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

This passage calls for functional trust. Trust that works inspires one to follow this word from Jesus placing our priorities on spiritual things.

Psalm 119:37+ 40 New King James Version

³⁷Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things,
And revive me in ^[^b^]Your way.
⁴⁰Behold, I long for Your precepts;
Revive me in Your righteousness.

One step in making our trust in the Lord functioning is to cease dwelling on worthless things. I think that the determination of what things are worthless is a personal matter. What is worthless to you may be worthy of value to me in doing the Lord’s bidding. The work of making our trust functional is a very personal matter. As we continue to explore, we need to keep this in mind lest we allow the evil one to insert judgement and thus threaten our trust. We need to soberly evaluate where we focus in life to ensure we avoid getting hooked on worthless things.

But let’s be realistic. Having a robust level of trust is often compromised by our experience with trust in our everyday life. Trust with our fellow man is rife with failure because we live in an untrustworthy world. We don’t have to look at the obvious untrustworthy areas such as politics. We just need to see how trustworthiness has evaporated from our society. The news is overwhelming with rampant theft in our stores and shops. Computers are hacked and money and assets are stolen. Homes are burgled and cars hijacked. It’s a brutal world out there.

When we consider that having our trust functioning on “all cylinders” is a great protection to our faith, we will be compelled to nurture our trust. Being aware of our surroundings can make us alert to the evil one’s attempts to compromise our trust.

I am reminded of one of the great lessons my dad taught me. I published it on my blog (https://www.lifeturningpoints.org/?s=judas) The Judas goat led the lambs in the fields to the best pastures. Then led them to slaughter at the slaughterhouse. That lesson taught me that it was easy to get sucked in to what everyone was doing around me. I learned to become diligent in my decision making, recognizing that not everyone can be trusted.

How can I move from stressful fretting and worry when my trust is less than functional to a truly actively functional trust?

Soberly and honestly reliving one’s experience with placing trust in God is the beginning of developing a functioning trust. It is interesting to see the interactions of faith and trust as they support each other. Let’s look at Jesus and how He expressed His functioning trust.

Jesus exhibits functional trust:

Luke 22:31-32 New King James Version

Jesus Predicts Peter’s Denial

³¹^[^a^]And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. ³²But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

Here Jesus knowing the test that Simon Peter was on the brink of failing, Jesus prays for the one and only thing that will get Peter through the test unscathed, FAITH! From this I see that our most critical possession is the FAITH that our loving God has so graciously implanted into our soul. We must protect it and nurture it relentlessly and at all cost.

However, let me draw your attention to the carefully worded message of Jesus to Peter (and us!) where He says “when” referring to His expected success of Peter. He didn’t use “if” which would imply Peter might fail. Such is the absolute confidence Jesus has in the success of His prayers for Peter and you and me! That’s functional trust as its finest.

As we continue our journey deepening the roots of our trust and faith, let’s do so with our “eyes wide open” to the threats of the evil one. Let’s be aware of the gifts of the Spirit and the firm belief that “prayer works”. Let’s stoke our desire and willingness to do the will of God and rejoice in how His love for us abundantly blesses our life.

Turning Point

As I explore the scripture and see these truths revealed experience by experience, I stand in awe of our almighty triune God. His love for me, Jesus’ grace and daily prayers for me, and the inspiring presence and guidance afforded by the Holy Spirit are a constant source of confidence deepening trust and faith. Desire for His gifts burn within and it is well with my soul.