Raising Thinking Children – Page 2 – The Turning Points of Life

Who do I Trust?

Nahum 1:7 New King James Version

⁷The Lord is good,
A stronghold in the day of trouble;
And He knows those who trust in Him.

This is the question that we face when things have not gone our way. When we find ourselves steep in a dilemma that life has sprung on us unawares. Where do we go? Who do I trust to get me through for the most beneficial outcome?

I have traversed eight decades of life and the troubles of life never cease to challenge me. It’s always a range of things from the simple to the complex, from the familiar to the unknown. My book, Solomon’s Recipe, provides a tried-and-true solution that has brought me through countless challenges. The recipe begins with the requirement for trusting in the Lord. Not just any trust, but genuine authentic trust. The trust that is most difficult to achieve and even more difficult to maintain.

As I continue my journey, I am acutely aware of new and innovative ways to maintain the trust in the Lord that I have embraced for years and hopefully for years to come. The passage from Nahum is one of those touch stones that provide encouragement to deepen and maintain my trust in the Lord.

This passage begins with the most important perspective one must possess if there can be any meaningful measure of trust in the Lord. That is the conviction that God is good. This is a firm foundation on establishing a truly valid trust in the Lord.

Galatians 5:22-23 New King James Version

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

The goodness of God is fundamental to His Spirit. The challenge for us is to see it and believe it. One might say that is so easy. No it isn’t, not when we are faced with the biggest challenges. The thoughts come fast and furious: “Why would God allow this to beset me? What shall I do now? Where do I turn?

If we truly believe and know from experience that God is genuinely and forever good, then we can fix our trust on that. As soon as we can set the fact that God is good, we can then move on to the next step, see Him as a stronghold in our time of trouble. This is a key stage in navigating positively the trouble life continually join us in our life’s travel. He is meant to be our strong refuge, our potent advocate, yes, our Savior!

Now we come to a most powerful truth, He knows those who trust in Him! Imagine the inspiring strength that gives us when we can appreciate that He knows ME! I am not alone! He knows me and my situation. And there is no situation that He can’t handle for me. Wow! Who knew that trust in Him could have such profound power? But it does! And it’s really all we need when the challenges seek to overwhelm us.

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART!

As I am want to do, I always explore additional versions of a profound bible passage. Here are a couple for you to consider and see if new feelings course through your soul, heart and mind.

Nahum 1:7 New Living Translation

⁷The Lord is good,
a strong refuge when trouble comes.
He is close to those who trust in him.

Nahum 1:7 Amplified Bible

⁷The Lord is good,
A strength and stronghold in the day of trouble;
He knows [He recognizes, cares for, and understands fully] those who take refuge and trust in Him.

TURNING POINTS

This bible passage and the sermon on Sunday July 2^nd that opened new vistas on the concept of “trusting God”, I found it very comforting to realize that God knows those who trust Him. God knows me. I hope others will see the value of trusting God genuinely and experiencing the expansion of its value.

What Does God Expect of Us?

This is the question that often comes to the serious inquiring mind. What exactly am I to do to fulfill God’s hope in me? The Bible gives us some insight for us to explore. We need to question ourselves as to how serious we are in learning what we yet must do to satisfy God’s hope for us individually. Do I have the courage to discover, to pursue, and to change and transform in my quest to do His will?

The first evidence of God’s hope for us is that which He said to Adam and Eve. He asked them to TRUST and OBEY. Sadly, for all of us, they did neither. And all too often neither do we. We struggle to trust in God. The reality is the struggles we have in following Solomon’s recipe he provided in Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord, and don’t rely on your own understanding.” We tenaciously insist on having understanding, indicative of incomplete trust in our Lord.

Proverbs 3:5-6 New King James Version

⁵Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
⁶In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

The next evidence of what God is hoping from us is found in Deuteronomy 6:4-6:

Deuteronomy 6:4-6 New King James Version

⁴“Hear, O Israel: ^[a]The Lord our God, the Lord is one! ⁵You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.⁶“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.

And expanded in Leviticus 19:18:

Leviticus 19:18 New King James Version

¹⁸You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

Jesus quoted these two as the two greatest commandments and hence God’s hope for us to abide.

Matthew 22:37-40 New King James Version

³⁷Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ³⁸This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 22:37-40 The Message

^37-40Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”

The next evidence of what God is hoping from us is found in Micah 6:8:

Micah 6:8 The Message

⁸But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
    what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
    be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
    take God seriously.

Micah 6:8 New King James Version

⁸He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly, To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8 Living Bible

⁸No, He has told you what He wants, and this is all it is: to be fair, just, merciful, and to walk humbly with your God.

And now we come to the final refinement of what God’s hope is in us, the new commandment of Jesus, John 13:34:

John 13:34 New King James Version

³⁴A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

John 13:34-35 The Message

^34-35“Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.”

In summary, God hopes we will genuinely and completely trust and obey Him at the expense of our understanding; love the Him with all your heart, soul, strength and mind; love our neighbor (whomsoever is in need) as ourselves; act justly with mercy and compassion, loyal and authentic in our love and walk in humbleness before Him.

How I pray can we do this? Surely not alone in a vacuum. We must fully rely on Jesus Grace, The Father’s Love, and the Communion with the Holy Spirit. This becomes our reality when we are humble, realizing our weakness and need in the light of God’s omnipotence and love for us.

TURNING POINT

Fulfilling God’s hope in us is really rather simple. I have found that the beginning is the development of a truly authentic trust in the Lord. Upon that foundation all God hopes for us will follow. The evolution of such trust comes fully when we see God’s presence and blessings as we experience it. When we face challenging circumstances, consider: God is asking , “Do you trust Me?” What will I answer?

The Extra Mile ~ The Second Mile

Forward: A minister related this story in a service and it really touched the depth of my soul. I share it with my readers today in the hope that it will inspire a sense of value to patience and willingness to wait on the Lord for His perfect timing to bless us with a profound and new understanding.

THE SECOND MILE (by Robert Wells)

The great road stretched for miles in both directions and was very crowded. Groups of people on foot traveled steadily onward. Donkeys, heavy-burdened, passed along. A long train of camels, with great bulky loads high on their backs, plodded by.

The boy, David, standing by the side of the road, watched everything with eager eyes. “Someday, I’ll follow this road for a long, long way” he thought. “I’ll follow it all the way down to the Great Sea, and I’ll not stop even there.”

His eye fell upon a single figure, walking alone, along the crowded road. “He’s a Roman soldier,” thought David. “I can tell by the way he’s dressed. How I hate the Romans! If it weren’t for them we Jews would be free again. Then we wouldn’t have to pay their taxes or obey their laws. I hate them all!”

He stared at the Roman soldier who was almost opposite him now in the road. Suddenly, the soldier stopped. He shifted the heavy pack he carried, and eased it down to the ground. Then he straightened up again and stood resting a moment. David still stared at him, thinking angry thoughts. Then, just as the soldier turned to pick up his pack once more, he noticed David standing not far off. “Hey, boy!” he called. “Come here!”

David wanted to turn and run, but he stood frozen in his tracks. No one dared to disobey one of the soldiers of Rome. David went nearer, slowly. The soldier motioned to his pack. “You will carry it for me,” he said.

David knew that there was no help for him now. He knew the hated Roman law. Any Roman soldier could make any Jewish boy or man carry his load for him in any direction he was traveling for one mile. “But only for one mile!” thought David, angrily, as he unwillingly lifted the pack.

The soldier had already turned away and had started on along the road. He did not even bother to look back to see that David was following him. He knew that he would not dare do anything else.

David followed. The pack was heavy, but David was strong. He swung along easily, but his thoughts were angry. He wanted to throw the soldier’s pack down in the dirt and stomp on it. He wanted to shout and rage at that hated Roman soldier striding easily ahead of him. But he could do nothing except follow along, keeping his bitter thoughts to himself. “Just one mile. He can’t make me go a step further. Only one mile.” The words made a sort of song in his mind in time to his steps. “One mile, one mile…”

Then, as he was plodding along, David suddenly remembered another day when he had walked along this very same road. One day he had gone out a little ways from the city with some of his friends, to find a young teacher of whom they had heard about. They had found him out on a hill side among a large crowd of people. David had stopped with the others to listen to what he said.

“What made me think of him now?” wondered David with one part of his mind. Another part was still repeating over and over, “One-mile-one-mile-one-mile-”

“Of course,” he remembered suddenly. “The Master used those very same words. What was it He said about one mile?” He walked on frowning for a moment before he could remember. Then he said the words to himself: “Whosoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two.” That was what He said! David had not paid very much attention to it at the time. He remembered now other things the Master had said. “Love your enemies.” “Do good to them that hate you.” Then once more David found himself repeating the strangest of them all, “Whosoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two.” “Does he mean–could he mean–like, now?” David puzzled. “But why? Why should I go more than one mile?”

David was so busy thinking that he did not notice that the soldier had stopped, and so he almost ran into him. “You have come one mile,” said the soldier. “Give the pack to me.”

“I will go on,” said David. He did not know why he said it. “It has not been far, and I am not tired.”

The Roman soldier stared at him in surprise, and for the first time David really looked into his face. He saw that the soldier was very young. He saw, too, that he was very, very tired, in spite of the straight soldierly way in which he stood.

“You have come a long way,” said David.

“Yes,” said the other, “a weary way of many miles.”

“Have you far to go?”

“I go to Rome.”

“So far!” said David. “Then let me carry your pack for another mile.

“You are very kind,” said the soldier, but his face was still full of surprise.

So they went on, only now, the Roman soldier waited for David and walked beside him along the road. And suddenly, David found himself talking to the soldier as if they had known each other for a long time, and he told him all about his home and his family. And David listened while the soldier talked of his travels in far away places. They were so busy talking that the distance seemed very short.

“Tell me,” said the soldier at last, “how did it happen that you offered to come this second mile?”

David hesitated. “I hardly know,” he said. “It must have been what the Master said, I think.” Then he told the soldier all that happened out on the hill and all that he could remember of the Master’s teaching.

“Strange,” said the soldier thoughtfully. “Love your enemies. Do good to those that hate you. That’s a hard teaching. I should like to know this Master.”

They had come now to the top of a hill and the end of the second mile. David looked back along the road toward his home.

“I must go back,” he said. “The hour is late, and my parents will wonder where I have gone.”

The soldier took his pack and shouldered it again. The two clasped hands. “Farewell, friend,” said the soldier.

“Farewell, friend,” answered David, smiling up into the soldier’s eyes. Then the two parted.

As David strode back along the road, the words of the Master kept running through his mind: “Whosoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two.” And as he repeated the words, he found himself adding, with a strange, deep joy, “It works! It really works!”

It’s so very true! I walked one mile with an enemy — I walked the second mile with a friend.”

REFERENCE: http://robertwells.tripod.com/romansoldier.htmlCopyright

Innovation = Survival

“Innovation is the creation, development and implementation of a new product, process or service, with the aim of improving efficiency, effectiveness or competitive advantage and survival.”

The pandemic of 2020 put all of us into an unexpected and unplanned situation. The consequences of a worldwide pandemic put a significant stress on individuals and businesses. Specifically, small businesses that do not typically have the luxury of robust bank accounts were stressed to the limits. Many were unable to survive. But this is the perfect situation for innovation to bring its salvation to such situations.

One small business, a pair of restaurants located in the Silicon Valley, realized successful navigation of the unexpected challenges of the pandemic. They had ‘Innovation” as part of their business by-line: Quality, Innovation & Education.

When the pandemic hit with a vengeance, governments nationally and locally, scrambled for solutions to mitigate the deadly effects of the new and novel virus. Medical experts were consulted and given unprecedented power to dictate procedures and social limitations on national, state and local counties and city venues. Restaurants and other traditional social gathering venues were shut down. They were limited to “to go” and “outdoor dining” for almost a full year in many cases. Small businesses were very vulnerable in this situation. Many restaurants and other businesses collapsed into insolvency destroying the dreams of countless entrepreneurs.

The Founder and CEO of Sushi Confidential, Randy Musterer, was uniquely positioned in many ways to meet the challenges ushered in by a global pandemic.

At the pandemic’s onset, Randy Musterer had a lot going for him. Before opening his restaurants, Randy had spent 17 years in cancer and infectious disease research. He worked at some of the most prestigious pharmaceutical companies in the world. That experience gave Randy the knowledge and understanding of what was necessary to protect people from a pandemic and its vicious contagious character. Randy’s response to the pandemic was to immediately plan for the worst. A closed restaurant can be devastating to the owner, the employees, the customers, and the suppliers of the business.

Randy, using his scientific background and experience, educated his employees. He taught them what steps they needed to take to remain in a position where they were not vulnerable to contracting the disease. He implemented protocols for his employees while in the workplace, protecting them and the customers from contracting or spreading the virus.

Next, Randy devised a strategy for keeping the restaurant functional when indoor dining was prohibited. He vigorously established an effective take-out system that gave his faithful and loyal clientele a means to still access his top-quality sushi offerings. He instantly connected with his clientele via social media to share his background in infectious disease research, what he was doing to implement safety precautions at Sushi Confidential This resulted in the ability to gain trust and support from his loyal following. He attracted the news media as credible resource for small business challenges and success amidst a global pandemic.

Randy didn’t rest with the initial success of the take-out business. Early in the lockdown, a few of Randy’s close friends in the industry were deciding how to navigate their small businesses through the pandemic. Many were not considered “essential”, therefore, were required to cease operations. Randy knew how devastating this would be to their survival moving forward. He saw an opportunity for his fellow small business entrepreneurs and invited them to sell their products through his established take-out business. Frost Cupcake Factory began offering their award-winning cupcakes on Randy’s menu. Then a local brewery, Strike Brewery, of San Jose began offering their micro brews. An award-winning Mixologist, Jason Steele, owner of Los Gatos Soda Works, soon joined the offerings with custom “take-out” cocktails, once the state changed the laws to allow hard-alcoholic cocktails “to go”. The success of these partnerships inspired other local restaurants to follow suit to create their own partnerships to help other small businesses survive, and even thrive, during the pandemic.

While many restaurants slowly pivoted to “learn” how to operate during a pandemic, Randy realized that he needed to continue to advance his offerings to keep his clientele both old and new from boredom. As restaurants were limiting their menu to be able to open and operate at a bare minimum, Randy went on a constant upgrade to his menu. On a feverish pace, he created new and innovative sushi rolls and other menu offerings. He also expanded his vegetarian, gluten-free and keto offerings.

The success of any business owner is how the owner can relate to and solve his customers “pain points”. Randy was working eighteen hours a day to ensure his restaurants’ survival. He was interacting with his customers daily and started to hear a common theme. They were bored after three months of “lock down”. How many more puzzles could the family make? How many more movies can they watch together? How do I keep my kids off “screen time” and video games? Randy knew, if he came up with a solution to their “pain points”, he could make additional revenue to ensure his restaurants’ success. Randy, having previous success with Sushi Making Classes at the restaurant, decided to create a make-your-own Sushi Kit. He included a YouTube instruction video to ensure its success. This became quite popular, especially with families with children. Families sharing their Sushi Confidential Sushi Making Kits on social media enhanced the popularity of the idea.

Randy continued his partnership with Strike Brewery. Together they brewed a hazy IPA on Randy’s Sushi Confidential label.

Not letting grass to grow under his feet, when outdoor dining became an option, Randy quickly adapted his patio for outdoor dining. When more space was needed Randy was instrumental in getting the city to create parklets on the street in front of his restaurant and all the local businesses there.

Randy invested on gaining additional outdoor dining by creating a “sushi” beer garden in the parking area behind the Campbell restaurant. When the fall holidays arrived, a surge in virus cases instigated the shutdown of outdoor dining. With people now deprived of dining in a controlled environment of outdoor dining in restaurants, they reverted to uncontrolled environments of house parties. This turn of events had the effect of causing Randy’s catering business to take off again. Randy employed some clever marketing ideas that capitalized on the questionable actions of the city and county lockdown edicts.

Randy’s intense focus on innovation has brought him through the yearlong pandemic with its amazing challenges. His appreciation for those who made great sacrifices to keep us all as safe as possible fuels Randy’s altruistic nature. He set out to honor and praise the first responders, medical teams and hospital workers by serving them sushi dinners. This commitment for them was evidenced on the day that Randy and his staff received their Covid vaccines. He brought bento box lunches for all the workers and was rewarded by being on the front page of the local section of the San Jose Mercury Newspaper.

Randy didn’t let a new vocabulary go without capitalizing on it. In the beginning, businesses were labeled “essential” and restaurants were not on the list. Randy seized that as an opportunity with T-shirts and hats challenging that idea. His subtle protest for the restaurant snub.

Customized Sushi Confidential masks rounded out the opportunity to capitalize on the unprecedented circumstances created by the pandemic that came out of no where.

An innovation is an idea that has been transformed into practical reality. For a business, this is a product, process, or business concept, or combinations that have been activated in the marketplace and produce new profits, growth for the organization and in difficult situations survival.

Randy has mastered innovation for the benefit of his staff, his clientele, and his family.

“I Have Prayed for You”

Luke 22:31-32 (NKJV) Jesus Predicts Peter’s Denial
31 And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

I have found this brief bible passage of a statement of Jesus to be very profound. I have searched it for many months and each time I visit it, I see something new and revealing. I offer here some of these discoveries.

• “Simon, Simon! I see in this urgent call to the disciple the authentic love that Jesus had for his disciple. Peter was quite a character. His enthusiasm often pushed his statements into a troubling position. In fact, at one-point Jesus said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan” (Matthew 16:23 (NKJV) 23 But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are [a]an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.”) Peter didn’t take offense like others might, but Peter didn’t learn his lesson. Many time later Peter stepped on his toes by his fiery persona. Still Jesus knew Peter’s heart and loved him all the more.
• “… Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.” Jesus love for Peter is evident in His pointed warning to Peter that Satan was targeting him. But as we know, Peter’s belief in himself rejected the warning. Nevertheless, Jesus love for him continued. Surely Jesus knew His words were falling on a closed mind.
• “But . .” I recall reading where an author proposed that “but’ stands for “Behold the Underlying Truth”. Despite surely knowing Peter’s rejection of the warning, Jesus wanted to equip His beloved disciple with an assurance, a measure of strength to sustain him in what was to follow.
• “. . . I have prayed for you,” Jesus in His great love for Peter, tells him that He has prayed for him. This revelation I have taken personally, and I hope you will as well. Since Jesus has a great and perfect love for Peter, despite Peter’s foibles, it caused Him to pray for him. I believe Jesus prays for me, despite my weakness and foibles. I passionately believe that Jesus loves me and cares for me to the point that He prays for me as He did for Peter. Most importantly, not only for me for all that He loves.
• “. . that your faith should not fail;” I find it telling that Jesus prayed for the resiliency of Peter’s faith. That underlines the importance of our faith that provides a deep and authentic trust in God. It is a powerful understanding that Jesus saw Peter’s faith as the most significant target of His prayer. Notice He didn’t pray that Peter’s struggle with Satan’s testing would be removed, but rather that Peter’s faith would withstand that test.
• “. . and when you have returned to Me,” Here Jesus reveals His confidence in the answer to His prayer that Peter’s faith would win the battle. Jesus is convinced that Peter would return as the victor. Can you imagine how Jesus must be confident that His prayer for you and me, that our faith will not fail, will have the same outcome for you and me as it did for Peter?
• “. . . strengthen your brethren.” Again, the great confidence that Jesus has in His prayers is magnified in this last statement as He bids Peter to use his trial and the victory to be a blessing for his brothers, his fellow disciples. This is a call to you and me, to share how the prayers of Jesus on our behalf have wrought countless blessings and the ensuing victory over the Evil One in our life of faith.

I hope that my sharing this insight into the depth of this experience with Jesus will inspire you to further plumb this Word of Jesus to see what richness awaits your inquiring of the Holy Spirit. Surely He will customize further revelations to suit your personal life with Him.

My Book “SOLOMON’S RECIPE” has arrived!

The essence of my book, SOLOMON’S RECIPE, was the first post on my blog. I expanded it into my first published book. It is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and most online book stores. Should you read it and find it worthy, please recommend it to your circle of friends. I am always open to your comments and how the book may have blessed you.

Note: Book is available as a paperback and eBook (Amazon Kindle + Barnes & Noble Nook)

Amazon Link::

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=solomon%27s+recipe+by+allan+musterer&crid=1BRENE2PNBGXS&sprefix=solomon%27s+%2Caps%2C336&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_10

Barnes & Noble Link:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/solomons-recipe-allan-musterer/1134053223?ean=9781646060207

Look for upcoming books “The Turning Points of Life ~ Realizing Those Moments That Change Everything” & “The Evolution of a Sushi Chef through the Eyes of His Father” and “Grieving ~ Finding Peace and Comfort in the Face of Loss”

Previews currently available on my Blog @ www.lifeturningpoints.org

Books2Inspire website is now available at www.allanemusterer.com

Sincerely,

Allan

Appreciating Adversity – Finding the Blessing in your Cross

Adversity is the ever present situation that seeps into our lives usually at the most inopportune times. And it is most often met with fear and distain. Who wants to face adversity? It challenges us and takes us out of our comfort zone. It threatens our peace and security. It is altogether distasteful.

Adversity appears bigger than it is

I grew up under the extraordinary teaching of my parents. In spite of the adversity in our lives that took myriad forms, I learned that in adversity was hidden invaluable blessing and benefits. I discovered the existence of these hidden treasures and how to find them.

My parents were not wealthy economically. They were extremely wealthy in spirit. That spiritual wealth created an ideal environment to prepare me for life’s adversities in all the forms they take.

My mother was challenged with constant issues regarding her health. I witnessed her suffering and the courage she demonstrated coping with it opened my deep respect for her. Her faith has undaunted by the adversity that visited her almost daily. Later in life, I found one of her secrets. It was revealed in a poem she had secreted among her personal papers. This poem was evidence for me that she mastered the ability to search for and find the blessings in her cross.

MY CROSS

Upon my back was laid a grievous load,
A heavy cross to bear along the road.

I staggered on, until one weary day,
Lurking temptation sprang across my way.

I prayed to God, and swift at His command
The cross became a weapon in my hand.

It slew my threat’ning enemy, and then
Became a cross upon my back again.

I faltered many a league, until at length,
Groaning, I sank, and had no further strength.

“Oh God!” I cried, “I am so weak and lame!”
And lo! my cross a staff of strength became.

It swept me on till I regained the loss,
Then was upon my back, again a cross.

My soul a desert. O’er the burning tack
I persevered, the cross upon my back.

No shade was there, and in the burning sun
I sank at last, and thought my days were done.

But lo! the Lord works many a blest surprise –
The cross became a shade before my eyes!

I slept; I woke, to feel the strength of ten.
I found the cross upon my back again.

And thus, through all my days, from that to this,
The cross, my burden, has become a bliss,

Nor ever shall I lay the burden down,
For God one day will make my cross a crown!

While reading this poem I contemplated how it must have helped her to focus on blessings and not the adversity. As I imagined my mother reading it this poem in times that required her to see things from the perspective it created, I realized more deeply its value. It also revealed that a concerted effort was required to achieve the proper focus. One needed to work their way through the jungle-like entanglements of emotions that erupt when facing overwhelming adversity. Dense feelings of hopelessness and defeat accompany such difficulties that relentlessly unfold in life.

Further thought reminded me of the definition of appreciation that I had researched years before. Seeing adversity with appreciation had the power to overcome the resistance to look for the benefits of an adversity at hand.

Appreciation’s meaning that became so valuable to me can be explained as follows:

I was dissatisfied with the initial meanings I found in the dictionary on my desk. So I resorted to my old college dictionary. I had to dig it out from the bottom shelf of the book case. Opening it and paging through its browned faded pages I found this:
Appreciation: “the exercise of wise judgment, delicate perception, and keen insight in realizing the worth of something”

I began to dissect this meaning as the implications in the description fascinated me. I investigated each component and found that some additions were apropos. After some time I settled on the following:

“the exercise of wise judgment, delicate perception, keen insight and sensitive awareness in realizing the worth or value of something or someone”

Applying this to my study to find the value of adversity, I sought to determine what each component of this definition could reveal and initiate some new deeper thoughts on the subject.

To further my study I analyzed each word or phrase. I found the following to be true and worthwhile in understanding how appreciation applies to the successful dealing with adversity.

Exercise is putting forth effort by me for my benefit. Exercise requires deliberate action on my part often requiring sacrifice and painful exertion to accomplish the task for which it is rendered. This work and the toil that accompanies it are necessary if one truly seeks to find values hidden in adversity.

Wise judgment is my evaluation employing my cache of knowledge and experience. When I exercise wise judgment, I engage my knowledge of the adversity under study, and add to it my comprehension of the character of that adversity, completing it with my understanding of its implications. I am then positioned to make a valid judgment of the values that surface.

Delicate perception is the view I have when my vision is based on my observance of the fine points. Here, I look not on the big picture, but rather focus deliberately on the fine details of the adversity I am facing. I question what I see with the intention of looking deeper with finer detail. This allows me to find treasures that the casual observer will overlook.

Keen insight implies that sharpness of my investigation is cutting deep and looking under the surface beyond the obvious. The thought that nothing is ever what it appears to be, instigates the deeper exploration below the visible surface, a dissection of the adversity. It gives understanding of what is at work now seen in the open.

Sensitive awareness is the faculty that uses my sensitivity to be aware, touched and moved. With this talent, I am equipped to see the peripherals that enhance or detract from the adversity under consideration.

Realizing the worth or value is the making the treasure real to me. When the four exercises above are completed and fully engaged, worth and values are not merely known, they become real, possessed and embraced.

Something or someone indicates to me that appreciation applies to material things and people but now can be expanded to include adversity. When we consider this expansion to adversity we can better understand how far reaching appreciation can be applied in our life.

TURNING POINT

The realization that the values and benefits of adversity are typically hidden deep in the emotions it instigates was a turning point for me. Now, before emotions can overwhelm me, I am positioned to commence my search for value and meaning thereby tempering any anguish emotions are prone to foment within. When emotions are in check, and values and meanings can be embraced, dealing with the resident adversity is most successful and even edifying. Gratefulness replaces despair and fear, and appreciation in all its potential performs its purpose.

A Four Second Transformation – Ogre to Prince

Did you every have an impression of someone until suddenly, in a matter of a few seconds that impression took a 180 degree turnabout? You thought you had a person nailed and then suddenly without warning it happened. This is my story of a four second transformation that became a turning point for me.

Being a teenager with a strict father had a way of creating a short memory. All the things my dad did for me as a child disappeared from my memory as I struggled with his strict ways in my teenage years. When in retrospect I reflected on the fact that I saw him in the extreme, as an ogre, I became sad and filled with regret. To my immature and in-the-moment mind, all I saw was a strong, strict and limiting father. My mother on the other hand was understanding and tried to balance dad’s stern and unwavering ways.

My mother and I had a very close relationship forged in my very early years. Unlike my dad I never forgot her kindness and loving ways when I was a teenager.

When I was about sixteen, my brother and I saw my mother as our coach. In fact we teased her at times with that nickname. We could say things to her we could never think of saying to our dad. Mother gently and wisely coached us in many situations typical teenagers experience. She had a special way of getting us to agree with whatever she said, while in contrast, we resisted most of our father’s words. Thankfully, the wisdom hidden in Dad’s counsel, eventually found its way into our realization.

One time my mother had to have a hemorrhoid operation. In those days it was one of the most painful surgeries one could experience. The day after the surgery Mother was recovering in the hospital. Dad, Roy and I had dinner together in our small kitchen. About to finish the meal, Dad announced to Roy and me that he was going to visit our mother in the hospital. We responded expressing our desire to go too. Dad resisted but we pressed him until he gave in.

Dad drove to Passaic General Hospital and parked on the street behind the hospital. The parking lot in front of the hospital had very limited parking space so it was out of the question to even think of parking there. The path to the hospital from the street where we were parked was comprised of large flights of steep wooden stairs. The stairs were serpentine as they twisted and turned up the steep hill.

Dad ordered us to wait fifteen minutes before we headed up the stairs. He said he needed “time to get mother prepared for our visit.” We wondered what he was talking about, getting mother “prepared” for us.

Obediently we waited and firmed up our plan for the visit. It was a brash plan to enter our mother’s room and ask her, “Hi Mother, how’s your ass?”

Being teenagers we didn’t give a thought as to how that would be received by either of our parents, we just thought it would be “cool.”

When fifteen minutes had passed, Roy and I got out of the car, locked it and headed up the steps. It seemed like forever to reach the top. Like everyone else climbing those stairs we were out of breath when we reached the top and began the short walk to the hospital entry.

Roy and I found our way to our mother’s hospital room, paused outside for a few minutes to compose ourselves and marched in with an air of arrogance.

A few steps into the room and we stopped dead in our tracks. One look at my mother’s face and I froze in a state of utter shock. The fact that she was in such excruciating pain shocked me into total paralysis. I felt as if I had a watermelon in my throat, making it impossible for me to utter a single word. I wanted to say something to comfort her, but it was simply impossible for me to speak.

After a few seconds, I saw Dad sitting at the edge of the bed, Mother’s hand in his as he gently stroked her forehead with his other hand. He was comforting my mother. Instantly, my father changed from an ogre to a prince as I realized he did what I could not do, comfort Mother in her moment of need and pain.

I felt so inadequate and useless in the face of the man who loved Mother with such gentle strength. Without a word, the scene put my arrogant teenage attitude into its proper place. The respect I had lost for my dad returned in that instant. Life in the family would never be the same as this big-time turning point changed the course of my attitude forever.

Turning Point

At times it takes a powerful traumatic emotional experience to create a turning point for us. We must understand that it may take time for the turning point’s lesson to reveal its profoundness. Sometimes though, it can hit home instantaneously. Whatever course the turning point may take, it behooves us to cherish them and the treasure they have the potential to be.

I have found that looking back and recounting my turning points, they can help others to get past misunderstandings such as I had for my dad when I was an impetuous teenager. Fortunate for me and my brother, we saw the truth of his wisdom rather quickly and that became a treasure to our benefit.

My Dad and Fishing

I can’t remember the very first time my dad took me fishing, but I suspect it was when I was about five years old and got a very old, rudimentary black casting rod and reel from my Uncle Arno. Uncle Arno was my mother’s brother and he and Aunt Helen lived on the street next to ours. I do remember going to their house and going into the garage. He took down a dusty old black fishing rod and reel. My dad agreed to clean it up and take me fishing one day.

We went home and dad and I went to work cleaning up the old fishing rod. The first thing dad did was take the reel apart and clean up the parts. He reassembled it and oiled the gears and bearings and put new fishing line on it. Now I was ready to go fishing.

However, it wouldn’t surprise me that in reality, the very first fishing moment in my life was with a long bamboo pole with a piece of fishing line, a hook at the end and a makeshift wooden bobber about a foot or so from the hook. It probably took place at the “pump house”, the nickname we gave to the small lake at the end of our street and just across the railroad tracks. The lake had a small population of carp, many of which were gold fish, likely planted there by people who got tired of their pet goldfish.

The “Pumphouse”

There are a number of fishing experiences with my dad that I remember vividly, two of which involve that old black casting rod and reel from Uncle Arno.

The first I recall was when our family visited my Uncle John and Aunt Elsie. They lived in a house on the banks of the Passaic River. I remember my brother and I fishing along the raised bank of the river using dough waded on the fishing hook for bait. My dad set up the rigging and we caught three catfish that day. One was large, about a foot long, one was smaller about nine inches long and the third was small and about five inches long. We boasted that we caught the whole family! My brother Roy and I both agreed that they were really ugly with their long black whiskers. I don’t remember if we threw them back into the river, but I am sure we didn’t eat them.

My next fishing memory was also with the old black fishing rod. This time my dad and I joined some of our neighbors and their sons at a lake some distance from our home. We rented two row boats and fished most of the day. I don’t recall if I caught any fish while in the boat, but my most vivid memory was when we returned the boats.

While my dad was taking care of our things and getting them stowed in the trunk of the car, I was still trying to catch fish. There was a park bench set between two large oak trees at the edge of the lake. Our neighbor, Mr. Barton, was sitting on the bench while I looked into the clear water of the lake. I could see a whole colony of sunfish. I couldn’t resist trying to catch one. I baited my hook with one of the last worms in the bait can and tried to cast it out to where the fish could clearly be seen.

Frustrated at being unable to get my baited hook close enough to the fish, I attempted to reach them by wrapping one arm around one of the oak trees. Steadied by the tree, I swung my fishing rod in a wide arc hoping to get the bait farther out into the lake. Alas, I lost my grip on the tree and tumbled into the water still gripping my fishing rod.

Fortunately, Mr Barton saw the whole thing unfolding before his eyes and his fast reaction saved me from possibly drowning. The water there was deep and I didn’t know how to swim, plus I was weighted down with all my clothes. Mr. Barton rolled off the bench and on his belly reached into the water, grabbed my collar and lifted me out of the water. I stood there shaking and grateful for Mr. Barton’s rescue.

When I was a little older, Mr. and Mrs. Herold, owners of the local German butcher shop and members at our church, rented us their bungalow at Greenwood Lake for a week one summer. That was a real adventure in fishing for me. Even though we didn’t have access to a boat, every day I joined my friend Dickey on a nearby dock and fished till our hearts were content.

Dock Fishing at Greenwood Lake

Many fishing days were spent with my dad in various locations over the ensuing years. We fished for fluke in Manasquan River that lead into the Atlantic Ocean. We fished Greenwood Lake with my Uncle Bill and cousin Herb who had a rowboat on the lake. We fished the lake for bass, perch and pickerel. These trips were very memorable and imparted a real love for the sport of fishing.

When I reached the age of twelve fishing with my dad suddenly changed. Dad’s job as a refrigeration engineer at Country Club Ice Cream Company changed to partial shift work. He had to work every Saturday and had Sunday and Monday’s off. That removed the possibility of fishing since Monday’s were school days for me.

That’s when my Uncle Henry stepped up and stepped in for me. All of us called him Uncle Henny. He was a painter by trade but was a master trout fisherman. He offered to take me fishing with him on Saturdays when he fished the many fast moving streams in northwestern areas of New Jersey. Places with names like Sparta, Lafayette, and Berkshire were old towns in the area that had streams flowing through them. The venues we fished were right in town, in open fields or farm pastures. Uncle Henny had a scheme for where and when to fish each spot.

When fishing with Uncle Henny became a reality, Dad took me to Meltzer’s Sporting Goods Store and bought me a fly rod, the required fishing equipment for fishing for trout in a fast stream. Along with the fly rod, we bought a reel, special floating fishing line and a wicker creel. Uncle Henny donated his old trout fishing vest to hold all the spare hooks, flies and spare line and leaders. He also gave me a used pair of hip boots.

Fully outfitted for trout fishing in fast moving streams, I was ready for Uncle Henny to teach me the fine points of the art of trout fishing.

The first day of trout fishing began with Uncle Henny picking me up at my house very early on a Saturday morning. We loaded my fishing gear into his car and off we went. The first stop was the Berkshire Valley. Uncle Henny parked his car in a dirt turnoff in an old residential area of town. Across the street from the houses was a stretch of the stream that gave access for fishing. Under the trees, Uncle Henny showed me how to bait the hook with night crawlers. I had caught my own supply of the large worms the night before by snatching them up from our backyard lawn after dark.

After the initial lesson, Uncle Henny set me loose and suggested I fish a stretch of the stream about twenty yards long. He assured me that there were lots of trout in that stretch. He left me there and headed downstream to fish.

For the next hour, I fished the stream but came up empty. Not a single bite could I get in spite of following Uncle Henny’s instructions. I was so disappointed. Uncle Henny eventually returned and asked how many trout were in my creel.

Reluctantly I said, “None.”

He paused and laid his fly rod with a still baited hook on the ground at the edge of the stream. He proceeded to take a fresh pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Unseen by either of us, the baited hook slipped into the stream when he laid his fishing rod down. Just as he pulled the red strip from his cigarette pack to access a cigarette, his rod began to jump around. Quickly he picked it up and reeled in the trout he had caught without even trying!

Uncle Henny

Now the lessons from my uncle became more detailed and the location and method of placing the baited hook into the stream made all the difference. By the end of the day, we both had our limit.

For the rest of my teenage years, Saturdays during trout season were spent with Uncle Henny fishing the streams of Northwestern New Jersey. Each Saturday afternoon I returned home with the limit of fresh trout that my mother masterfully turned into a delightful meal for the family on Sunday after church.

Turning Points

Dad’s introducing me to the joys of fishing was a turning point in many ways. It was an experience that bonded us together and introduced me to a sport that I enjoy to this day. Its rewards also helped me create a special bond between me and my son Randy.

The unexpected turn of events with Dad having to work on Saturdays, opened the door for me to learn a new venue of the sport of fishing and to build a rewarding relationship with Uncle Henny.

I began to explore other venues for fishing beyond lake and stream and river fishing. I discovered surf and deep sea fishing. All of these I eventually shared with Randy.

The Judas Goat

My dad often took me places that were profound learning experiences for me. I don’t know if they were part of a deliberate plan of his, but regardless, I learned lifelong and life changing lessons as a result.

I remember one day, probably a Saturday afternoon he took me and my brother to the last place I would have expected. He took us to a slaughterhouse in Secaucus, New Jersey. I don’t recall how old I was at the time, but most likely I was eight to ten years old. It was for me a very interesting experience.

We arrived sometime in the early afternoon in summertime. The sun was high in the sky. It was hot and very humid, typical of a New Jersey summer day. Dad parked the car amidst a sprawling complex of wooden corrals. The smell of farm animals permeated the air. The corrals were jam packed with animals waiting for their turn to enter the bowels of the slaughterhouse. Pigs populated some of the corrals we saw and lambs others.

Dad led us to a large corral that had hundreds of lambs housed within. As I looked over the crowded arena, I noted that there was one animal that stood out. It was bigger and had curled horns and a long white beard hung from its chin. It also had a bell hanging from its neck. I recognized it as a goat.

I asked, “Dad, why is there a goat among the lambs?”

He said, “In a little while, you will understand why he is there.”

Dad reached into his pocket and retrieved his pack of Camels cigarettes. He removed a cigarette and reached over the top of the corral. I climbed up onto the bottom rung of the corral’s railing and hung my arms over the top. It didn’t take long for the sensitive nose of that goat to smell the tobacco aroma from dad’s little unfiltered cigarette.

Quickly, the goat weaseled his way through the crowd of lambs and snatched the cigarette from between dad’s fingers. He ate that thing so fast that in a split second it was gone. The goat stayed there, looking at dad as if to say, “Can I have another one?”

My dad pulled another cigarette from the pack, carefully keeping some distance from the goat. I imagine he was fearful that if he were to get too close the hungry goat eyeing him with anticipation of another treat would snatch the whole pack from unsuspecting hands.

Dad and the goat entertained us with a few more cigarettes for the next few minutes. Then the real purpose of the visit began to unfold before my eyes.
I don’t know what the signal was that caused the next activity to commence, but suddenly the goat began to prance around the corral. The bell around its neck announced that something was happening and it attracted the attention of every lamb in the corral. They all began to move about; increasing their speed, the activity became more and more agitated.

That is when my dad began to tell us what was about to happen.

He explained that the goat was a Judas goat. For some reason, the lambs instinctively followed the goat. The goat was trained to lead the sheep and in this case, lead them to slaughter.

I watched as the Judas goat made his way through the throng of lambs. Soon he had all of them following and he made his way to the edge of the corral. He passed by where we were standing and I saw a gate open a short distance from us. The goat led the lambs through the gate and into a narrow chute. Suddenly, another gate opened and the goat returned to the corral, but none of the lambs returned.

Dad explained that as soon as the goat got the lambs into the chute, the goat was diverted and the lambs went into the slaughterhouse.

We watched as the last of the lambs entered the chute. Dad summoned us to return to the car. Dad of course didn’t want us to witness the actual slaughtering process. That was not part of this lesson. He was very wise that way. What we witnessed, however, was a lesson that evolved over years to come, providing understanding that proved to be a blessing in many circumstances of life.

TURNING POINT

This turning point was one that developed over many years. One crucial lesson it taught me was not to be sucked in by what everyone around me was doing. Peer pressure was a powerful force, especially in one’s youth. The desire and need to fit into the “in crowd” was very deceptive in so many instances. This lesson gave me courage to be different and not follow blindly the course taken by those around me. It caused me to seriously and deliberately consider the potential consequences of actions, and equipped me with the wherewithal to make wise decisions in life.