Functional Faith

This notion of “functional faith” came to me as I lay in bed awaiting sleep to unfold. The thought caused me to imagine the consequences of functional faith to the believer. As an engineer, functional means that whatever it is that’s functional, it does what it’s supposed to do. It simply works. And functional faith is faith that successfully brings us through our failures and the adversity that we inevitably face. Faith has that purpose, to keep us in oneness with God to ensure our future with Him. The following scripture shed light on faith and what it means for us.

I begin with two passages in scripture where I believe Jesus is telling us why faith is so important,

Luke 18:7-9 New King James Version

And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?”

In these words from Jesus, He highlights the one thing He will be looking for in us, FAITH. This is not surprising when we recall the moment His key disciple Peter was about to be tested by Satan.

Luke 22:31-32 New King James Version

Jesus Predicts Peter’s Denial

31 [a]And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

In these two passages Jesus makes clear the critical nature of our faith not only for our journey in this life, but for the life after Jesus’ return. There is another passage that offers some insight into our task with our stewardship of our faith.

Luke 12:48 Living Bible

…. Much is required from those to whom much is given, for their responsibility is greater.

The “much” here is the faith that God has shed abroad in our hearts.

Romans 12:3 New King James Version

Serve God with Spiritual Gifts

For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

Romans 12:3 New Living Translation

Because of the privilege and authority[a] God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.

Ephesians 2:8 New King James Version

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,

This faith that God has so generously given to us, in all its greatness, has imputed to us great responsibility. It is clear from the words of Jesus in these passages that faith is key to our future. He found it necessary in Peter’s case to pray that his faith would not fail him. We can extrapolate that the same love that Jesus had for Peter, He also has for us. Then He prays for you and me that our faith will not fail us. Best we take that to heart.

I find it interesting how the Message Bible offers some insight on how we can manage our stewardship of this precious gift of faith from God.

 Romans 12:3 The Message

I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

 This last statement is like a compass for us as we navigate life and our journey. Let the gratitude for “what God is and by what he does for us” be the spirit that rules our vision and our character. Apostle Paul offers profound perspective on how we can be effective in prospering our God-given faith in Philippians.

Philippians 4:6-7 New King James Version

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Paul gives interesting insight into pitfalls and weapons we have for diligent protection over the gift of faith in Ephesians. The Message translation offers wording that is quite clear.

Ephesians 6:13-18 The Message

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

If we take these words to heart, we can experience how our faith will be strong, resilient, and profound.

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Turning Point

The evolving guidance of the words of God as presented in scripture instill profound gratitude and inspiration to continue to grow in this faith that God has gifted to us. I hope my sharing these insights they will be a turning point for you my readers as they are for me.

Transformative Scripture

Part 1

The study of scripture has always been filled with new revelations that can transform our perspectives and understanding and even our character. I am presenting several of these scriptural texts that have been transformative for me. I have highlighted the words or phrases that caught my attention and inspired deliberation and growth.

Ezekiel 22:30 New English Translation

30 I looked for a man from among them who would repair the wall and stand in the gap before me on behalf of the land, so that I would not destroy it, but I found no one.

 

When I read this, I have the sense that God feels saddened that when He needed someone to step up to fulfill a desperate need, He found no one. This inspires me to say, “Lord, take me!” From my experiences, when I stood up to fulfill a need, even when I felt inadequate for the task, God provided whatever I lacked thereby allowing the task to be successfully fulfilled. The feeling that God is often let down by fearful and reluctant humans, inspires one to have the courage to step up and step in to fulfill a void.

Psalm 139:23-24 Living Bible

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test my thoughts. 24 Point out anything you find in me that makes you sad and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

This scripture is the finale to one of the most inspiring Psalms. It speaks of the reality of the inescapable presence of God in our life. Whether we believe it or not, God has a deep interest in our life and His presence ought to create a profound gratitude the eludes description. The final words in verses 23 and 24 are the psalmist’s desire to take full advantage of God’s presence. He invites God to search his very being and seeks to know if he is brining any hint of sadness to the heart of God. This has inspired me to add this thought to my prayers for I would hate to God to become sad because of me and my sinful thoughts.

Luke 12:48 Living Bible

…. Much is required from those to whom much is given, for their responsibility is greater.

When we are amazed as we realize how great we have been blessed by the God of Love and Grace and mercy and forgiveness, we understand our mission – to love one another as we have been so profoundly loved.

Matthew 5:41 New King James Version

41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.

The lesson of the second mile is significantly transformative as it opens doors for untold opportunities to growth. Making strangers into faithful friends.

Galatians 5:22-23 New King James Version

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

This scripture provides a comprehensive glimpse into the gifts the Holy Spirit can instill into one’s character. It takes the deliberate intention to develop each into a conduct and perspective on life.

Luke 18:7-9 New King James Version

And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?”

In these word from Jesus, He highlights the one thing He will be looking for in us, FAITH. This is not surprising when we recall the moment His key disciple Peter was about to be tested by Satan.

Luke 22:31-32 New King James Version

Jesus Predicts Peter’s Denial

31 [a]And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

Here Jesus knowing the test that Simon Peter was on the brink of failing, Jesus prays for the one and only thing that will get Peter through the test unscathed, FAITH! From this I see that our most critical possession is the FAITH that our loving God has so graciously implanted into our soul. We must protect it and nurture it relentlessly and at all cost.

Let me draw your attention to the carefully worded message of Jesus to Peter (and us!) where He says “when” referring to His expected success of Peter. He didn’t use “if” which would imply Peter might fail. Such is the absolute confidence Jesus has in the success of His prayers for Peter and you and me!

COPYRIGHT © 2024 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER ~ All Rights Reserved

Turning Point

I find that scripture contains words that reveal the eternal truths. And like a diamond, each time we read them they reveal a facet not seen in previous encounters. It’s like a flower unfolding revealing beauty previously hidden within its bud. Each revelation inspires the next exploration.

PREPARATION FOR CHRIST’S RETURN

In sorrow and grief, heartache and pain, disappointment, and injustice the Bride of Christ is made ready.

The big unavoidable experiences in life somehow prepare us to meet our Savior in a prepared, no strings attached condition. Just how does that work? This is a question I am wanting to explore.

Sorrow is profound distress of the spirit in the face of great loss. This is especially present when the loss is deeply connected with someone we authentically love.  The deeper the love the more acute is the sorrow. Such sorrow has the effect of bringing one into a depth of one’s reality, devoid of the trappings of normal life. Sorrow reaches the very depth of the soul. When one visits that depth of personal intimacy, transformations can come about that are simply not accessible during normal life experiences.

Grief is deep sorrow begetting a sense of misery, usually following the loss of a loved one. Grief can also result from tragic losses of critical or essential possessions. Grief typically bridges Sorrow and Heartache affecting spirit and emotions.

Heartache is emotional distress and anguish. Where sorrow affects the spirit, heartache affects the heart with deep emotional suffering. This is most often experienced when there is a loss or absence of someone deeply loved and revered.

 Pain is physical in nature causing extreme suffering and discomfort due to illness or injury. However, deep sorrow, grief and heartache can often induce physical pain, and that especially evident when one is in a physical sensitivity and jeopardy.

Disappointment is a sense of sadness and discouragement when hopes and expectations go unfulfilled. Disappointment can be very debilitating when it causes the loss of hope for the future. The effect of disappointment can’t be underestimated with regards to its potential negativity that devastates a person.

Injustice is one of the most devastating experiences for a person’s peace. Injustice is gross unfairness that typically assails the innocence of the victim. Injustice causes a myriad of negative emotions to surface, often compromising the nature and character of those who suffer it. Injustice reaches its pinnacle when it is visited upon us from a trusted source we dearly loved or venerated, having held them in high esteem.

Now one of the clear tenants of Jesus teaching is the necessity of such suffering as tis just described. Regardless of how distasteful suffering is, it has the potential to transform us into a ready and prepared Bride for Christ. It is the aim of what Jesus taught regarding suffering that we with the strength of faith and trust in the Lord bear it to the glory of God and to our own salvation. Here are the biblical references of this teaching of our Savior and Bridegroom. I invite you to read and deliberate upon these and see how they can bolster your tolerance for the unique personal suffering you can and must endure. May these provide you with an appreciation for your suffering and the strength and resilience to journey through in peace.

Acts 14:22 

New Living Translation

22 where they strengthened the believers. They encouraged them to continue in the faith, reminding them that we must suffer many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God.

Romans 5:3-4

New King James Version

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.

 2 Corinthians 1:7

New King James Version

And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

The Message

7-10 Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

 James 5:11

The Message

10-11 Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You’ve heard, of course, of Job’s staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That’s because God cares, cares right down to the last detail.

 1 Peter 2:20

New Living Translation

20 Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you.

 1 Peter 3:14

New Living Translation

14 But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats.

 Matthew 5:10

New King James Version

10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 10:22

New Living Translation

22 And all nations will hate you because you are my followers. But everyone who endures to the end will be saved.

John 16:32-33

New King James Version

32 Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. 33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you ]will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

  Philippians 4:6-8

New King James Version

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Meditate on These Things

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

 

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TURNING POINTS

The understanding and hence the appreciation of the eternal results of our unique and personal suffering will comfort us and inspire us with that “Peace of God” that surpasses all understanding.  

Mother’s Prayers

My mother was a diligent teacher. She had a deep faith forged through her health issues she battled during her youth. For me, her most profound teaching for me was her prayers. She began praying with me when I was only three months old.  Later at about a year old, before I went to bed each night and after my dad read me a story, I went to my crib and knelt down to pray. My mother coached me to pray every night prior to going to sleep and when I took a nap during the day. Fortunately, my mother took pictures to remind me of how my praying began.

               

The first prayer I learned was the traditional child’s prayer that went like this:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

And if I die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I probably didn’t fully understand this prayer when I first learned it, but I learned the concept of praying. It was ground work for a developing prayer life that continued to evolve as years went by.

Each experience in my life that was life changing and a turning point was indelibly integrated with praying. Prayer was an integral component before, during or after those turning points, even if I didn’t realize that they were at the time.

Prayer became a means for me to express my sincere gratitude and thanksgiving for the many blessings I experienced during my growth as a Christian. But prayer was much more than that, even as important as thanksgiving was for me.

As prayer experiences grew over time, more aspects of prayer’s benefits were realized.

I learned that prayer gave me an opportunity to discover new ways to express my deepest feelings toward God. I found new words and combinations of words to articulate thanksgiving, appreciation, hope, desires, and longings to my Father.

I discovered that how I prayed had a profound effect on my attitude and demeanor throughout the day. When I begin the day praying, “Dear God, I thank you for the light of another day” I find myself being grateful for life and am motivated to make the most of it.

Prayers I have found changed things and most importantly changed me.

When I prayed, “Lord, please give me a heart with skill to listen as I want to be able to hear even the soft whisper of your Holy Spirit when He seeks to guide my path into your perfect will for me today” I had a heightened awareness of the urging of the Spirit. I felt His guiding words and thoughts moving me into extraordinary life experiences throughout the day.

My prayer often included thoughts like, “Lord, I want so much to be able to express the feelings of thanksgiving that pulse in my heart and soul. But I can’t find the words to do it. Please look into my heart and see there the thanksgiving I cannot say in words.” Subsequently, I felt that my true thankfulness reached God, and I was content.

I found on social media the following that echoes these thoughts:

Praying for the souls that were precious to me in life but had passed on, gave me a means to express to them how much I loved them and appreciated their contribution to my life. In some cases, it enabled me to seek forgiveness from those I had hurt in life but never had the opportunity to seek forgiveness prior to their passing.

I found that praying for someone as an intercessor, gave me a more meaningful and effectual connection with them and hence enabled me to become a blessing for them. This was particularly evident when I sought to comfort those who had suffered the loss of a loved one.

Many times I prayed silently when I was in the midst of challenging circum-stances. Not knowing what was happening, understanding how to react or respond and what to say, I quietly prayed in thought, only then to experience just the right action or words to say flowing into me. 

I discovered that when I prayed aloud in the presence of others, especially when I was praying as an intercession for them as they struggled with a situation, the fact that a prayer is a spiritual entity allowed them to sense that which was beyond just the words, but also the spirit prompting them. In these cases, most often I found the words coming to me not from my mind but from the Holy Spirit. They were designed by God to comfort and respond to the needs of the souls involved. I gained a sense of gratefulness for being used as an instrument of blessing for them.

In situations that were beyond me, I found that during deep and urgent prayers, I gained a knowledge that I had not understood before. It was the evidence for me that prayer was not a one way conversation but rather a dialogue. Not a traditional dialogue comprised of words going back and forth, but a communication of spiritual thoughts. The more I experienced this phenomenon, the more I became sensitive to it. I have stood in awe at times when serious questions were answered in these sweet hours engaged in prayer.

The consequences of prayers have changed me in ways beyond my ability to explain. Reading the prayers of men and women in the Bible has also provided new dimensions to my understanding of effectual prayer. Solomon’s prayer “give me a heart with skill to listen” and David’s prayer “Search my heart oh God and see if there is anything that makes you sad” have provided me with ways to touch the heart of God with humble supplications.

The most life changing aspect of prayer was those extraordinary moments when prayers were answered almost instantaneously. The answers received were so perfectly precise and effectual that there was no doubt of its reality. Sometimes, the meticulous nature of the answers that came in the form of my thoughts, words I spoke or the actions of others were so astounding that uncontrollable emotions erupted in me.

Certain answers to prayers provided new understanding of the heart of God and His perfect plan for me and others. The benefits I have experienced with praying are far beyond this effort to explain.

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TURNING POINTS

The life of prayer that I have enjoyed has been a lifetime of turning points. My praying has given me comfort, strength, faith, trust and vision from my relationship with my God and Father, His Son and His Spirit. I find that the character of prayer that is independent of time, place and form allows it to be effectively engaged in the moment.

 

. . . . And Then Some

“When we have done our best, we can wait the results in peace.”`
-Unknown

I don’t know who said this, but I do know that they were right on target. Let’s take goals, for example. We set goals to keep us focused on the important things in our life, personal goals, career goals, spiritual goals, family goals, health goals, etc.

Sometimes we set out with great enthusiasm to reach these goals, but occasionally there are circumstances that set us back. Some circumstances within our control . . . some not. But there is a wonderful feeling of peace when I know in my heart that I’ve done my best. Because win or lose, I know that I’m more prepared for my next battle in life.

Committing to excellence is not an act, it’s an attitude. It’s an attitude that is captured in this short thought titled: And Then Some…

And then some . . . these three little words are the secret to success. They are the difference between average people and top people in most companies. The top people always do what is expected . . . and then some.
They are thoughtful of others; they are considerate and kind…and then some.
They meet their responsibilities fairly and squarely…and then some.
They are good friends and helpful neighbors…and then some.
They can be counted on in an emergency…and then some.
I am thankful for people like this, for they make the world a better place. Their spirit of service is summed up in these three little words…and then some.”

If we carry the attitude of “And Then Some”, throughout our life, when our time on earth is almost gone, we will wait the results in peace.

[The above article’s author is unknown]

COPYRIGHT © 2023 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER All Rights Reserved

TURNING POINTS

The principle of “. . . and then some” reminds me of two scriptural truths that have the wisdom to direct one’s path to successfully become a blessing for others.

Luke 12:48 Living Bible

…. Much is required from those to whom much is given, for their responsibility is greater.

Matthew 5:41 New King James Version

41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.

These two scriptural lessons are potential turning points to those with the courage to employ them. For me they have created countless blessings for my pursuit to become a person of value.

[Note: for more on this principle see “The Extra Mile – The Second Mile” on this blog July 2021]

Criticism

Criticism is something everyone experiences. The question is what it means to the recipient? A major consideration in answering that question is what is the character of that person? How do they feel about themselves? What is their sensitivity? There are many possible responses to criticism. Some are highly offended on one end while others are appreciative because it allows one to improve by self-examination.

Criticism is leveled from one to another as disapproval of perceived faults or mistakes. The intensity of the criticism is typically based on the perceived cost of the mistake. The intensity is also affected by the possible stress in the relationship between the parties.

As a youth, I was very sensitive to criticism. It was painful because it made me feel like I was less than who I wanted to be. It made me feel like a failure. But I was at a point in maturity that required learning who I was and who I wanted to be. In a surprising moment of clarity, I drew a conclusion. In retrospect, it was a very mature and wise decision. I developed a way to accept and deal with criticism that I deemed would never end.

Criticism, I decided was a way of life. No matter how good or bad you are, criticism dwells in every life. And it will come out of many spirits and under many names. It will be the result of jealousy, anger, resentment, and political sides and on the other hand it will surface as genuine interest in support of another person. I have experienced all of these.

When someone wants to mask their criticism, they will offer it with the weak caveat of “constructive criticism”. Seldom is such criticism accepted as “constructive”. It still bites the ego and does little to assuage the hurt the criticized feels.

The perspective that I chose for receiving the inevitable criticism I know I will experience in the circle of my relationships is this:

Criticism, regardless of the spirit with which it is offered,
Has at least some shreds of truth.
I challenge myself to rise above any sense of hurt.
And search for that truth shred and embrace it.
Then use it to change into a better person.

This perspective provides some very important and valuable benefits. Initially, it gives some relief to the hurt because it gives potential value to the criticism. It reveals a weakness that I previously did not see and now am able to address and resolve. Additionally, I see the value of a specific criticism to make me a better person. I can now easily not only forgive the critic but also thank them for helping me see the truth.

COPYRIGHT © 2023 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER All Rights Reserved

TURNING POINTS

This realization of criticism and how it can be seen as a benefit to growth and maturity was a big turning point that has served me throughout my life in service, friendship and business.

Samantha Angele – Miracle Baby

 

Luke 8:50

But when Jesus heard it, He answered him, saying, “Do not be afraid; only believe, and she will be made well.” 

When I heard the news from Cindy, my heart sank, writhing in intense pain and sadness. She had just been with her doctor and the news she brought took both of us to our knees. The child she was carrying under her heart was almost certainly Downs Syndrome. I summoned what little strength I could to comfort Cindy, but what could I say? I knew her and her husband Tony would love their child regardless, but I also knew it would be a very difficult challenge for an already challenged family.

Cindy and Tony were both in the navy when they arrived in San Diego in January 2000. I was the rector in our El Cajon congregation and welcomed them with open arms. They had been told by my cousin Cliff that I would be there for them. Cliff was their minister in New Jersey. They arrived with a young boy who was their nephew, and they were his guardians.

The economics of the San Diego area was not always easy, especially for military families. The cost of living in San Diego was very high. Despite the financial challenges Cindy and Tony were a happy couple with a profound faith. I enjoyed serving them.

As the years went by Cindy gave birth to two baby boys. Each were premature and spent their early days in incubators. I would marvel at the sights in the hospital as Cindy would place her hand into the incubator and the tiniest of delicate fingers would grip her index finger in a clear warming indication of the love bond between mother and child. The boys grew quickly and became a great joy to the congregation family. They had sweet personalities that captured the hearts of all of us.

Now Cindy was pregnant again. Three months into the pregnancy, I gave Cindy, Tony and the new life Cindy was carrying the Confinement Blessing on a bright Sunday morning. In privacy of the Sacristy, we experienced the blessing of God for this new life. The family was aglow with anticipation of the new member of the family.

Secretly, Cindy confided in Tony after they returned home that she sensed that I had a concern over the family and maybe this new life they were expecting. Cindy carried her thought in her heart. I did not know this, nor did I consciously harbor any concern for the child. I put all my trust in God’s blessing for a blessed outcome. My only concern was the economic burden another child would bring.

In the weeks that followed, standard testing was done with the pregnancy, and everything seemed normal. Since the previous pregnancies had ended in a premature baby, extra care was being taken to ensure that this one would be normal.

After one of these tests, Cindy called me with the unexpected news that the child tested positive for Down’s Syndrome.

After I arranged for a family visit that night with Cindy, I poured out my heart to God. I feared what the family would have to endure with such a burden. Knowing the characters of Tony and Cindy so intimately, I knew they would love this child with all the love a parent could muster. After praying, I immediately called our Apostle to give him the sad news. I must have caught him at a bad time, because he was not very talkative. Upon hearing the news, he simply said, “I have just returned from being with our Chief Apostle. When you visit the family, give them this word that he used, ‘Fear not, just believe’”.

When he hung up the phone, I sat there somewhat stunned. How can I bring these terse words to these parents? I sat there struggling within myself to accept these words. I didn’t know where this word came from in the bible. I was wrestling with my own faith to try to gain some understanding. I was in such a deep struggle that I didn’t think to search the bible for its source or context. When I finally exercised trust in my Lord, I embraced these few simple words without any semblance of understanding. Finally, I was prepared to make my evening visit.

With hours of fervent prayer behind me, I enter Cindy and Tony’s apartment. After our welcoming greetings we prayed together. Then I explained that I had reached out to our apostle to advise him of the circumstances. With some lingering concerns as to how they would receive the brief words from the apostle, I explained.

“The apostle, on hearing the news of the test results, said, ‘tell them this, Fear not, just believe.’”

Instantly, an aura of peace came over Cindy and Tony with their complete acceptance of these words. I felt a tinge of shame coming over me. What I had to wrestle with they immediately believed. I secretly admired their profound faith. Yet another lesson I learned from this family.

We talked and discussed what the future would hold. Cindy explained that in six to eight weeks the doctors would perform another test to confirm the first one. In the meantime, we would continue to pray for God’s blessing and for our own strength to accept what would come to pass.

Over the next weeks, I frequently sought to encourage Cindy and Tony. Believing without fear became our mantra as the days of waiting marched onward.

Then the day of the next test dawned, and our prayers intensified.

The call came from Cindy, “The test is negative! The test is negative for Downs Syndrome!”

With relief and unspeakable gratitude for God’s precious blessing we cried together. When I hung up the phone, I called our apostle with the great news. Together we praised and thanked God for His love and response to our prayers.

I was now intent on finding the actual text in the bible. My search led me to Luke 8.

Luke 8:40-42, 49-56

New King James Version Luke 8:40-56

A Girl Restored to Life

40 So it was, when Jesus returned, that the multitude welcomed Him, for they were all waiting for Him. 41 And behold, there came a man named Jairus, and he was a ruler of the synagogue. And he fell down at Jesus’ feet and begged Him to come to his house, 42 for he had an only daughter about twelve years of age, and she was dying.

49 While He was still speaking, someone came from the ruler of the synagogue’s house, saying to him, “Your daughter is dead. Do not trouble the Teacher.”

50 But when Jesus heard it, He answered him, saying, “Do not be afraid; only believe, and she will be made well.” 51 When He came into the house, He permitted no one to go in except Peter, James, and John, and the father and mother of the girl. 52 Now all wept and mourned for her; but He said, “Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping.” 53 And they ridiculed Him, knowing that she was dead.

54 But He put them all outside, took her by the hand and called, saying, “Little girl, arise.” 55 Then her spirit returned, and she arose immediately. And He commanded that she be given something to eat. 56 And her parents were astonished, but He charged them to tell no one what had happened.

As I read this, my heart sank when I read the words “and she will be made well”. I thought about how I would have seen the words the apostle gave me differently if I knew this. Pondering this I realized that God fashioned it as he did so I would wrestle and accept them without the added understanding afforded by the words “and she will be made well”. I was tested. It opened the way for my growth and edification of my faith and trust in God. It was a turning point never to be forgotten.

But this was not the end to the story.

When Cindy gave birth, a full-term healthy baby girl arrived to bless the family. Now the joyful task of welcoming new life into the family and our congregation.

Cindy came to me with a request, “what should we name her? Tony wants to name her Samantha, but I don’t want anyone calling her Sam or Sammy!”

(I later learned that Cindy and Tony had been discussing several possible names for the baby. Each name that Cindy suggested a name Tony said, “No.” After Tony awoke from a sleep he announced, “Samantha is her name!”)

Cindy and Tony agreed to name their baby girl Samantha Angelle.

On Sunday March 2nd, 2008, I was privileged to Baptize baby Samantha Angelle. In my message to Tony and Cindy I said that I was convinced that she was already praying before she was born. I confessed that Samantha taught me a new depth of prayer life as I journeyed with them to this very day.

The following week we were in Pasadena for a service with our Apostle. Samantha was to be sealed and it was also a Confirmation service for a group of youth.

I was in the sacristy with the Apostle and other servants prior to service. At the right moment I mentioned to the Apostle that one of the babies for sealing was our miracle baby, Samantha. Upon hearing this he became silent, and I saw him wrestle with his emotions as he surly revisited the many fervent prayers we had rendered and the wonderful response from our God.

After service I rejoiced with the family for the amazing journey we had travers- ed with the blessings of God’s hand to bless and guide us through.

Samantha Angele – Miracle Baby

Carol and Baby Samantha at her Baptism

Samantha in my arms at her Baptism


Samantha’s Holy Sealing with Apostle Kolb

 

Fear Not, just BELIEVE!

COPYRIGHT © 2023 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER All Rights Reserved

TURNING POINTS

The experience with Samantha brought many turning points for me. I realized the great power of faith and trust in the Lord when faced with a challenge that first appears without any plausible solution. There are formidable forces afoot when souls are teamed with others who share their faith and join in fervent prayer together. There is nothing that is too difficult for God to change or move or heal. Patient waiting for God’s meticulous timing and self-introspection while going through the valleys of adversity bring potent personal growth. Faith is edified.

Grieving VI

I continue my quest to find new words that have the potential to help those who are grieving find comfort and peace amid their loss. I know the pains of loss because I have experienced the passing on of the very special people who loved, blessed, and taught me. These souls comprised my family, teachers, friends, classmates, work colleagues and minsters. The relationship with each was and remains one-of-a-kind, unique to us. When the physical connection ended at their passing on, there was no escape from the sense of loss. But I feel blessed to have found ways to experience profound comfort and peace in the inevitable grief.

I have seen many memes and postings that try to offer comfort to those grieving and lacking comfort and peace. They are struggling with their loss that almost constantly drives them to the pit of agony and despair. I know that it is not a simple matter to change this narrative. Some on the memes though true do not help to find relief from the pain.

The following memes are recent from social media. I offer my perspective in the hope that my views might help someone see their grieving in a more positive light. I realize and appreciate that my perspective will not resonate with everyone. Each of us has a grief as diverse as the unique relationship that is at the root of your grieving.

This is one of the basic truths of grief. Unfortunately, many of those seeking to comfort grieving friends promote the lie of expecting and hoping for achieving “Closure”. Closure means finality. There is no finality to grieving. What there is is the possibility to grieve and at the same time find profound comfort and peace. And surprisingly actually find joy! When in the throws of grief one can find reasons for nurturing gratitude, joy is its harvest.

I like the essence of this because it echoes the fact that grief is actually love. Had there not been profound love, there would be no grief. This statement promotes the notion that our grief is out of our control. “I don’t know what grief will look like tomorrow” is true because grief has many faces. But what I find encouraging is the statement: “But I’ll face it.” This promotes the reality that we have control of how we will respond to the grief no matter what form it will take tomorrow.

What is this “learning how to swim”? I believe it is learning how to adjust our perspective of grief from pain, despair and loss to gratitude, appreciation, and gain. When we can so effectively focus on the gifts the relationship we shared together, it will overwhelm every sense of loss and the pain the goes with it. I encourage us to learn the great benefit of swimming and using every available stroke.

The important thing to recognize is that in emptiness there is pain and despair. To replace that with comfort and peace we need to learn to fill the emptiness not with “loud loss” but with thundering gratitude for all the good the life relationship afforded. I find it good to write down those “good treasures” to cement them into our memories so that we can be prepared to fill any sense of emptiness that appears unexpectedly.

Some of the greatest pain for someone grieving comes from those who love them the most. I am sure you have had such experiences when you were grieving. In their desperate attempt to comfort, they naively use words and phrases that hurt instead of healing. Words like “She’s in a better place” or “at least you still have two other children” and “time will heal you” are devastating.

I once counselled a mother who had just experienced the passing on of her daughter. I told her, “Be prepared for those who sincerely love you to say words that will deeply hurt you. Please know that they love you but do not know what to say and so will use words that hurt. I offer this too ease your pain and help you to eventually forgive.”

After a few months went by I asked her if there was anything I said to her during the early days of her grieving that caused her pain and hurt. She said, “No. But what to warned me of prepared me, because there were those whose words were very painful.”

This meme offers wisdom in providing comfort to those who are grieving. Passionate listening and presence is invaluable.

Note: Refer to the other articles on Grieving I through V on this blog for more thoughts on the art and process of grieving to achieve comfort and peace.

  COPYRIGHT © 2023 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER All Rights Reserved

TURNING POINTS

Each of these and other memes that surface on social media offer opportunities to consider new ideas for promoting my and our mastering the art of grieving to achieve the comfort and peace we need. Perchance we can even find deeper sense of gratitude that can usher in a joy for what we had together.

Cancer, Fear and Radiation

Psalm 56:11 (NKJV)

In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

Mark 5:36 (NKJV)

As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid; only believe.”

Luke 8:50 (NKJV)

But when Jesus heard it, He answered him, saying, “Do not be afraid; only believe, and she will be made well.”

One of the greatest fears is hearing a doctor say, “I am sorry, but you have cancer.” Known as the “C” word, having a diagnosis of cancer evokes fear of not only death but a death preceded by agonizing pain and suffering. Cancer is unique in that it can attack just about every organ in the human body. And worse, it has a way of sneaking up on you with little or no waring symptoms.

I don’t remember when my mother confided in me that I was born with cancer. Weeks after my birth a birthmark on my back turned black in a matter of hours. She summoned our doctor who excised a cancerous tumor that was miraculously contained in a fleshy sack. Afterward I was treated with radium to ensure that none of the cancer had escaped into my body. For 1943, this was a rare episode in a child’s life.

By the grace of God, the cancer was successfully removed with a lifelong scar and gap in my back muscle the only consequence.

For decades, I witnessed many people in my life who suffered cancer in a myriad of types with a wide variety of consequences. Most eventually lost their lives either directly or indirectly from the cancers that plagued them.

I was 76 years old when cancer came again to knock on my door. It came as was common for men over 50 to find its way to the prostate gland. It has been a common annual test for men’s physical exams to include PSA in a comprehensive blood test. PSA stands for Prostate-Specific Antigen, a protein produced by normal as well as malignant cells in the prostate gland. The PSA test measures the level of PSA in the blood.

For men in their 40s and 50s, PSA levels of below 2.5 ng/ml is normal. This age group has a normal range of 0.6 to 0.7 ng/ml. Men in their 60s are considered abnormal at PSA levels above 4.0 ng/ml and normal between 1.0 and 1.5 ng/ml. Diligent doctors will not only consider the levels but will watch for trends over time.

Since I had family members who were both older and younger that me who had been diagnosed with prostate cancer as well as other cancers, my doctors where carefully watching my annual blood tests. For more than 10 years, my urologist and internist monitored the PSA levels of my annual blood workups.

When my PSA levels were approaching 4.0 ng/ml, my urologist performed a needle biopsy of the prostate. The PSA levels slowly inched up each year but at very small increments. Then in July 2019 my annual physical exam’s blood test revealed an alarming jump from 4.0 to 8.0 ng/ml. This sparked an urgent appointment with my urologist, Dr. Naitoh.

The doctor recommended a comprehensive needle biopsy to see if cancer was present. Since the biopsy was going to be more extensive than the previous one done in the office, this one required a hospital outpatient procedure under anesthesia.

At the same time, I was suffering for eight months with extreme pain due to a bout with polymyalgia rheumatica. I was amid constant efforts to deal with the ravages of the disease. I also was facing the need for total knee replacement surgery. It was decided to delay the prostate biopsy to November 14th. The biopsy results came in on November 21st.

Carol and I met with Dr. Naitoh on November 21st. Not knowing the results of the biopsy prior to our meeting, I prayed and asked God to guide me with His Spirit to help me make the right decision for whatever the outcome of the tests. I also asked if He would have His Spirit guide my doctor to provide me with the best information to lead me to the best decision.

The doctor wasted no time telling us that the biopsy revealed two small sites with cancer cells. He said that the type of cancer was very slow growing and the typical protocol for this cancer was to take a “wait and see” approach. However, the doctor advised that he would recommend a very aggressive treatment. He based this on the fact that the PSA level had so rapidly doubled. That fact revealed to him that something out of the norm was going on with my case. The pieces of evidence didn’t stack up to what would normally be the plan to move forward. We agreed with his advice to move forward aggressively.

The doctor proceeded to present several possible procedures and the typical side and long-term effects of each. They included a variety of surgical and radiation solutions and combinations of both. Then he added a solution that was new to me. It was a radiation solution called CyberKnife. The doctor gave us a few brochures that gave details of the various solutions.

Carol and I returned home and did our research that included contacting my relatives and friends who had used some of the options. I prayed and sought the guidance of the Holy Spirit as considered each option. The CyberKnife solution rose to the top consideration for several reasons. The two reasons that became paramount in influencing my decision were the better long-term and short-term effects and my experience with radiation.

CyberKnife was somewhat of a misnomer as there is no “knife” in the procedure. The procedure required the planting of two small pure gold “seeds” the size of a grain of rice at the biopsy located cancer sites. These fiducials are used in the radiation process. After the fiducials are implanted the patient’s prostate a cat scan and MRI are performed and used to locate alignment marks placed on the patient’s torso. The procedure then begins for five consecutive days for treatment. The procedure places the patient on a bed in the treatment room. A series of alignments are made using the results from the cat scan and MRI data and the alignment marks on the patient’s torso. A radiation source is mounted on a robot and once the patient is aligned on the bed, the process begins. The process moves the radiation source by the robot moving into successive angles to focus a low energy radiation beam through the prostate. The key is that this process focuses on the fiducials and hence the cancer cells while minimizing the radiation exposure to the adjacent healthy cells.

In the late 1970’s and the 1980’s I was working with radiation applications to the solution of many issues in industry. Focused radiation solutions were found to be extremely effective. This experience gave me confidence in CyberKnife technology. As this personal understanding surfaced during my deliberations on which solution to embrace, I felt that this was the spiritual guidance I was seeking.

On December 9th we met again with Dr. Naitoh and discussed our decision to employ the CyberKnife procedure to treat my prostate cancer. The doctor arranged for us to meet with Dr. Fuller at the CyberKnife facility.

During the previous days since the biopsy revelation, I was daily investigating the various treatments for prostate cancer and the side effects on the computer. Now having decided on CyberKnife, I continued my internet searches with renewed focus. We had an appointment with Dr. Fuller on December 19th. On the evening of December 18th, I made my final inquisition on the computer. Unlike previous inquiries, something new appeared on the screen.

An advertisement for SpaceOAR Hydrogel appeared for the first time in my searches. I read the ad:

SpaceOAR Hydrogel is a PEG-based hydrogel designed to temporarily create space between the prostate and rectum and reduce the radiation dose delivered to the rectum during radiation therapy. It has been clinically shown to help minimize urinary, sexual and bowel side effects and help protect the quality of life for prostate cancer patients undergoing radiation therapy.

As I read this I wondered, why did this come up now? Does it have any bearing on my decision for CyberKnife? Is it confirmation or a warning?

The name “Hydrogel” stuck in my memory, and I included it specifically in my prayers to attain a level of guidance and confirmation from the Holy Spirit.

The next morning Carol and I met with Dr. Fuller. We were waiting for the doctor to come into the exam room when I looked around the room. I noticed on the counter a plastic document holder with brochures titled Hydrogel! I poked Carol and directed her attention to the brochures. We exchanged smiles.

Doctor Fuller arrived and we discussed the CyberKnife procedure. He answered our questions and shared with us the results experienced by past patients.

Finally, I asked my burning question, “Doctor Fuller, I noticed on the counter the Hydrogel brochures. What is your perspective on Hydrogel?”

He responded enthusiastically, “I would not perform our CyberKnife procedure without Hydrogel.”

He then went on to describe how Hydrogel is employed. When the gold seed fiducials are inserted into the prostate, the Hydrogel is applied as well.

I felt that this whole experience with Hydrogel was God’s way of confirming our decision for CyberKnife.

We made the final decision and set up the next steps for the procedure. Due to the other issues, I was facing at the time, we decided to delay the CyberKnife until March 5th, 2020.

On that date, the gold fiducials and the Hydrogel were inserted at the CyberKnife facility. The Cat Scan and MRI were performed on March 10th. Then on Monday March 30th and through April 3rd, I underwent each day the CyberKnife procedure. I began taking Flomax medication to keep any prostate swelling to a minimum.

The first PSA blood test following the procedure was June 2nd that revealed the PSA down to 1.5 ng/ml, down from 8.9 that was the last reading prior to the CyberKnife treatment. On July 16th I met with Dr. Naitoh who said that the Prostate had shrunk 20% and that the bladder was unaffected and healthy. By October 5th the PSA was down to 1.0 ng/ml.

In April my PSA was down to 0.7 ng/ml. The PSA levels continued to drop and by 2023 it was down to 0.1 ng/ml. Except for some minor bleeding from the prostate from November 2020 through March 2021, the side effects were essentially nonexistent.

I acknowledge how I was guided by the Holy Spirit in making the decisions and the doctors were led to provide the advice that helped see the right path for me. I found it fascinating how my past work experience and the internet searches played into the decision-making process.

   COPYRIGHT © 2023 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER All Rights Reserved

TURNING POINTS

When we take the time to search our experiences, turning points are revealed along with the parts that our faith and trust in God have played. Inspirational are these discoveries and the critical part that God has in the results of our decisions. Sharing our turning points can hopefully inspire others to consider their own turning points that changed their lives forever.

Recommended reading on Cancer: Cancerland, by Dr. David Scadden 

Sudden Onset – Polymyalgia Rheumatica

Isaiah 41:10 New King James Version

10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

 

There are some things that we secretly fear and avoid talking or even thinking about. We fool ourselves into thinking that if we avoid thinking about it, it will somehow escape us. One of those fears, common to most humans, is the fear of excruciating pain. Severe and uncontrollable pain is high on our lists of fears. I have experienced the pain of kidney stones passing through the tubes of the urinary tract. The pain is such that there is no position that relieves the pain in any degree. Suffering pain when there is no possible relief is a fearful situation.

On the morning of March 28th, 2019, I was awakened at two o’clock in the morning with an urge to go to the bathroom. I lifted the covers and when I lifted my legs to get out of bed the pain in my thigh muscles was intense. I was in shock. What was going on? Where did this pain come from? I agonized to put my feet on the floor. With intense leg pain with each leg step I hobbled awkwardly to the toilet and relieved myself. The pain in my thighs was unrelenting as I painstakingly made my way back to bed.

Once supine and the muscles relaxed, the pain disappeared. I was confused. What had just happened? What could have caused this? I was thinking, no hoping, that with the pain gone it was gone for good. I prayed and thanked God for the relief and went off to sleep.

Two hours later, I awoke again and to my dismay, the pain returned to repeat the two o’clock episode. Now I began to worry. Is this some kind of disease I have? I questioned God. Is this going to be debilitating? Will I lose my ability to walk? Back in bed with muscles again relaxed, the pain again dissipated. I couldn’t sleep any more. Speculation dizzied my thoughts. Intense fear crept into me. I sure didn’t see this coming into my life.

After I painfully made my way to the kitchen and made breakfast, I cleared my head enough to try to understand what could be causing this. It was very strange as within a half hour of moving around, the pain relieved to a point of tolerance and within an hour was gone. This went on for a week.

The morning of April 4th, one week after the onset of the pain I remembered that a potential side effect of a statin medication was muscle pain. I had suffered a stroke three years prior and had been taking a statin medication since then without issues. I hoped that maybe that was the cause of my pain. I called my doctor and explained the pain and my theory about the statin drug. He suggested I stop the statin medication for a week and see what happens. I stopped taking the drug that evening.

A week passed with no relief. Each day the pain levels increased and soon included hips, arms, and shoulders along with the thighs. As each day wore on the pain subsided until it was gone by early afternoon only to return by two o’clock in the morning. By the second week the pain reached such a level that was simply intolerable. I awoke on April 11th and finally had my wife take me to emergency at the hospital.

By now the pain was so intense I could barely walk. I waddled into the emergency receiving area like I was about to collapse, awful pain with every step. I made it to the clerk at the desk. Explaining my experience, I was immediately seated in a wheelchair and after signing in whisked to a room in the bowls of the hospital’s emergency area.

Hurting severely, I stood up to get into the hospital bed. I grimaced holding back the scream that wanted so desperately to express my agonizing pain. As before, once supine on the bed the pain began to ease as my muscles relaxed. A nurse quickly arrived and started an IV and took some blood samples. Soon after a doctor came in and asked the standard questions.

“Once we have the blood work results, we will have a plan to take care of this. How do you feel now?” He asked.

“I am fine now, no pain. But if I try to flex a muscle, the pain returns.”

An hour passed and the nurse returned to inject medication into my IV. Within minutes I could flex my leg muscles without pain.

“Wow, that was quick. What just happened?” I asked.

When the doctor returned, he gave me his assessment.

“The blood work indicated severe inflammation of your circulatory system. (C-Reactive Protein levels that indicate inflammation are normally less than 0.5 mg/dl, mine was 138 mg/dl) But the rest of the results and the specific location of your pain indicate that you have Polymyalgia Rheumatica. It’s an autoimmune disease. We treat it with low dose steroids. You need to see your regular doctor in the next few days for ongoing treatment. I have prescribed 15 mg of Prednisone.”

I already had an appointment for my annual physical exam with Dr Sun on April 15th.

In his exam room he looked at me and said, “We are not doing your annual physical today. This report from the emergency room visit is serious. How are you feeling today?”

“After the emergency room visit, I was fine for a couple days, taking 15 mg of prednisone each morning. But yesterday and today, the pain is back as bad as before.” I answered.

The doctor increased my Prednisone to 20 mg and set my next appointment for a week after.

This time there was no significant reduction of pain. Dr. Sun increased the Prednisone to 60 mg. But he asked me if I had any headaches.

“Yes, I have had a couple and took some Tylenol, but they didn’t have much effect,” I responded.

“This diagnosis of Polymyalgia Rheumatica can have some very serious consequences. We must treat it aggressively. But you need to see a Rheumatologist as they are the specialists for this disease. I have taken the initiative to set up an appointment with Dr. Kim the day after tomorrow. The biggest risk is Temporal Giant Cell Arteritis, which if untreated leads to permanent blindness. I will get you an appointment with a Neuro-Ophthalmologist before you leave today. You will need a biopsy of your temporal artery to determine if you have Giant Cell Arteritis. But we must treat this as though you do have it. I will be prescribing higher doses of Prednisone until we have the biopsy results.”

This was a lot to take in. I left the doctor’s office with two appointments and a prescription for prednisone. For the next two days I took 30 mg of Prednisone in the morning and again at night. Finally, at those levels I was pain free.

Two days later I met with the rheumatologist, Dr. Kim. She had me change the dose and frequency to 60 mg in the morning only.

Two days later I had my appointment with the Neuro-Ophthalmologist for the temporal artery biopsy. When I awoke that morning, the pain was right back at its highest levels. Obviously, the morning only regime with the Prednisone wasn’t working.

I had inquired the previous day as to what was needed from me for the biopsy. Did I need someone to drive me home afterwards? How long would it take? Any special restrictions that I needed to consider?

The medical assistant said, “No need for someone to drive you. The biopsy procedure is very simple with only a local anesthetic. It takes about twenty minutes. You will be out of here in an hour at the most.”

I was also suffering at the time from an enlarged prostate. That necessitated frequent urination. I also was on a blood anti-coagulant medication. Unfortunately, with the speed of this biopsy I couldn’t stop it early enough to make a difference for the “minor” surgery for the biopsy. The doctors were not concerned.

When I arrived at the doctor’s office, I made it a point to visit the restroom to ensure that I wouldn’t need to use it during the procedure. I limped in agony into Dr. Edwards office  and checked in at the reception desk. They said it would be a few minutes before I was called.

When my name was called, I was first ushered into a small room where a very preliminary eye exam. I wondered what that had to do with the biopsy. I was now led to the exam room that was outfitted like a typical eye examination room. Dr. Edwards arrived and after introductions he began to explain what was going to happen.

He began, “First I will give you a complete eye examination to assess the baseline health of your eyes. Then I will perform the biopsy of your right temporal artery. But before that we will have to decide as to the pathology lab to do the biopsy.”

The doctor continued with a detailed dissertation as to the risks of temporal giant cell arteritis and the permanent blindness it produces if untreated. The emphasis was on discovering if I had it or not. He explained that another Neuro-Ophthalmologist from Loma Linda Medical Center just happened to be in the office that day (she never ever came in on a Friday). He said that she could take the biopsy sample with her to her lab in Loma Linda and a superior pathology test result would result compared to a local lab’s test.

“So where shall I send the biopsy sample Allan?”

“Doctor, I prayed that you would be guided by God today to serve my best interest. Please, you make that decision.”

“It’s going to Loma Linda!” he instantly proclaimed.

After the eye exam, I was taken to the operating room and placed on the table. Every step still greeted me with excruciating pain. Again, as I lay down, I could relax my muscles and the pain subsided as the nurse prepared for biopsy surgery. I was a bit unnerved as I realized that the local anesthetic would allow me to be to be fully conscious and hear every word spoken and every noise that would emanate from the surgical procedure.

Now the anti-coagulation medication I still had in my system was about to make its presence known. The lidocaine injections were uneventful and painless. The surgery proceeded with the 2-inch-long incision and the bleeding commenced. It was a challenge for the surgeon to control the bleeding. I could hear the constant sizzle of the cauterizing used to stop the bleeding. Finally, after more than 20 minutes the bleeding was under control.

The search for the artery to be excised began. This too, was a challenge, as my low blood pressure seemed to cause the artery to collapse and hide from sight. The surgeon and his assistant struggled to find and secure the elusive vessel for excision.

I heard what to me sounded like a frantic interchange between doctor and nurse.

“There it is!”

“Oops it’s gone again!”

“No, there it is!”

“Oh no, it’s disappeared again.”

This struggle continued for thirty minutes until the doctor told the nurse to summon the specialist from Loma Linda for help.

The last words you want to hear while under the knife are “OOPS!” or “WOW!”

Momentarily the other doctor arrived on the scene. Since I had my eyes covered, I could only imagine the scene.

Dr Edwards explained the dilemma they were having and asked her what she thought. As she peered into the open incision on the side of my head, she exclaimed, “WOW! Never saw anything like that before!”

I was reeling in my thoughts. What in the world is going on? I sure hope they can figure this out! Again, and again I silently prayed for divine intervention.

The doctor quickly offered some guidance. Dr Edwards and his assistant finally isolated the artery. With the other doctor’s approval of the isolated sample, the vessel was tied off and excised.

Now two plus hours into the surgery, I was being sutured. By now my bladder was at the bursting point. I asked the doctor if he could please hurry as I really needed to use the restroom. He said he was going as fast as he could. A few minutes later he said we are far enough along for you to get up and we will finish when you get back.

Sutured and back on my painful feet again I was led to the restroom a few feet away from the operating room. But alas it was occupied! My last resort was the public restroom in the corridor. Fortuitously it was vacant, and I could at last relieve myself.

I returned to the operating room for the final stitching. Dr. Edwards suggested I go back to Prednisone 30 mg in the morning and 30 mg at night until I see Dr. Kim again.

I scheduled a follow-up visit with Dr. Edwards and painfully made my way to my car to return home. It was now well over two hours past the expected conclusion to the surgery.

Three days later I visited Dr. Kim again. This time my Prednisone was modified to 40 mg in the morning and 20 mg at night. This resulted in manageable and very low pain levels.

On May 2nd I visited Dr Sun for a checkup. He was pleased that the pain was very much under control.

One week later at Dr Edwards’ office the sutures were removed from the biopsy incision, but there was no news yet on the biopsy results.

Finally on May 18th the biopsy results came back. My phone rang and Dr. Edwards gave me the good news, “No Temporal Giant Cell Arteritis!” I was so relieved. Now all I had to do was find a more permanent solution to the Polymyalgia Rheumatica pain. Remaining much longer on such high doses of Prednisone was not good.

Two days later I met again for follow up with Dr, Sun.

On May 22nd Dr. Kim began to diminish the Prednisone, 40 mg in the morning and 10 mg at night.

In the days and weeks that followed, Dr Kim continued to explore the diagnosis to determine if other issues were in the mix all while slowly diminishing the steroid doses. I had neurological tests to rule out nerve damage in my legs and bone density scans to determine detrimental effects of the high steroid doses. Pain management is always tricky as the steroid doses decrease, because if too aggressive pain returns. The goal is to get the steroid to the lowest possible levels, typically 5 to 15 mg once per day.

May 31st it was reduced to 40 mg in the morning and 5 mg at night. By June 2nd I was at 40 mg in the morning only, with none at night. Three days later I dropped the morning dose to 35 mg.

On June 15th the Prednisone was down to 30 mg in the morning. Reductions continued until it was 25 mg on June 25th and 20 mg on June 28th when pain suddenly returned to my hands and shoulders. On the 30th I began taking Fosamax.

The pain in my joints began to return progressively getting worse each day. By July 7th with the reduction of Prednisone to 15 mg the pain was almost as high as when it all began 3 months before. But Dr. Kim was undeterred in getting me off the Prednisone.

I began taking Methotrexate tablets (4 tablets) on July 10th that resulted in a significant reduction in pain levels.  On the 12th the Prednisone was reduced again to 10 mg. Again my pain levels jumped to high levels and the Methotrexate was increased (6 tablets) and Meloxicam was introduced. Immediately the pain levels began to drop again.

The Prednisone was dropped to 5 mg on the 20th and the pain returned but at a much slower amount. But by the 25th the pain had reached quite high prompting Dr, Kim to raise the Prednisone up to 10 mg.

On the 26th of July I received concerning news from my Urologist, Dr, Naitoh. He had been monitoring my PSA levels for ten years. It was very slowly getting higher. A few weeks prior I had my annual physical and urological tests. The doctor advised me that my PSA was suddenly at 8, almost double from the previous year. He wanted me to set up an appointment soon.

I met with Dr. Naitoh on the 30th and he advised me of his concerns with the PSA of 8. He suggested a needle biopsy of the prostate as soon as possible to assess the situation.

Meanwhile, the pain in my thighs, hips, arms, hands, neck and shoulders continued while on the 10 mg Prednisone. Levels of pain at 6, 7, and 8 on a scale of 1 to 10 were being experienced.

By August 7th, Dr. Kim stopped the Methotrexate tablets and I began 0.7 ml injections once a week. The pain persisted but at slightly lower levels. I visited my cardiologist for a heart test that proved excellent.

On August 27th I had an ultrasound on my legs with no blood clots discovered. The Methotrexate was increased to 0.8 ml on the 28th. Pain levels had eased to levels of 3 and 4.

On the 31st Carol and I went on vacation to Utah for a week, despite the consistent pain. We enjoyed our travels, but the walking was quite uncomfortable. By Thursday my Prednisone pills were running low and I had to reduce the dose from 15 mg to 10 mg. (Just prior to vacation the Prednisone doses were briefly raised to get me at pain levels that I could tolerate on vacation.)

By the last day of vacation, the pain in my legs and hip were so severe I needed a wheelchair to navigate the airport. Upon my return I made several doctor’s appointments to further asses my physical situation.

September 11th, I met with my orthopedic surgeon to assess my two knees that had partial knee replacements years prior. X-rays showed that my left knee had lost what cartilage had been left. Full knee replacement surgery was now the plan.

September 27th, I ceased Meloxicam but continued with the 0.8 ml Methotraxate weekly injections. The Prednisone was reduced to 7.5 mg. Since my return form vacation all my pain levels had reduced to levels of 1 to 3.

Early October the Methotrexate was increased to 0.9 ml. Surprisingly, there was a up tick in pain levels. I took a Meloxicam pill and the levels dropped again.

On the 25th I stopped Meloxicam and reduced the Prednisone to 5.0 mg. After three days the pain made a significant jump and I returned to 7.5 mg Prednisone.

At this point I was facing a full knee replacement and a prostate biopsy along with the pain management. The knee replacement was put off for the time being by having my knee drained of an accumulation of fluid on November 7th in hopes of easing that source of pain. That measure was successful.

I had an extensive prostate biopsy performed in the hospital on November 21st under full anesthesia. December 9th Carol and I met with Dr. Naitoh to review the biopsy results. He said that the biopsy identified two cancer sites within the prostate. However, the type of cancer was a very slow growing kind and normally the prognosis would recommend a watch and see regimen. However, the doctor shared his concern that the PSA level had increased drastically and now was almost at 9.0 from the 8 in April. He opined that there was something going on that was not normal. He recommended aggressive treatment.

After discussing the possible treatments and their side effects and long-term effects on my health and life, we decided on a treatment called CyberKnife. This was the least invasive and had the fewest side and long-term effects. The plan was set in motion. (The rest of this story can be found at “Cancer, Fear and Radiation” July 2023)

The dance of Prednisone juggling and pain management continued. November 16th to 6 mg, December 11th to 5 mg, and January 5th to 4 mg.

January 20th, I had my left knee full replacement surgery. From the 28th through February 10th the Prednisone was upped to 10 mg to assist with the knee replacement rehabilitation. On the 11th it was reduced to 6 mg.

The reductions continued with February 25th to 5 mg, March 12th to 4 mg, April 3rd to 3 mg, April 10th to 2 mg, April 27th to 1 mg and finally May 13th the Prednisone ceased.

March 28th to May 13th almost fourteen months and the pain was finally under control with the Methotrexate 1.0 ml weekly injections. I have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis  and visit with my rheumatologist on a quarterly schedule where my progress is monitored along with blood test to assess any changes that are needed with medications.

During 2020, in addition to the pain management, I had a successful total left knee replacement, successful spine surgery to open the clogged nerve passages between L3 and L4 vertebrae, and successful prostate cancer procedure with CyberKnife radiation. That procedure resulted in PSA levels being reduced from the high of 8.9 to 1.5 after four months and to 1.0 after seven months. Three years later it stood at 0.1.

All during this “adventure” I put my trust in the Lord my God to carry me through. I asked for the guidance of the Holy Spirit for each of my doctors as they plied their talent, skill and expertise to serve my needs such that the will of God for me would be realized. The whole of the experience has served to edify my faith and trust in my God and know He listens to my prayers and responds in a most blessed way.

 

  COPYRIGHT © 2023 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER All Rights Reserved

TURNING POINTS

This experience was truly a journey of trust in the Lord. The countless moments of testing my resolve and attempting to understand each setback to my health and wellbeing was in the end a treasure. It was a turning point that gave me renewed faith and trust that God is with me and that with Him I can traverse challenges yet to be faced. It confirms my perspective that with the right attitude and sincere gratitude, adversity can be dealt with such that one will grow beyond all expectations leaving adversity and fear behind.  

 

NOTE: 

Polymyalgia rheumatica (PMR) is an inflammatory disorder that causes widespread aching, stiffness, and flu-like symptoms. It is more common in women than men and is seen more often in Caucasians than other races. It typically develops by age 70 and is rarely seen in people younger than 50. PMR may last from one to five years; however, it varies from person to person. Approximately 15 percent of people with PMR develop a potentially dangerous condition called giant cell arteritis.

Giant cell arteritis (GCA), or temporal arteritis, is an inflammatory disease affecting the large blood vessels of the scalp, neck, and arms. Inflammation causes a narrowing or blockage of the blood vessels, which interrupts blood flow. The disease is commonly associated with polymyalgia rheumatica. If left untreated it can cause untreatable blindness.